Band Self Harm Imagines

Josh Dun

  It had been a long and strenuous day at college for me; I couldn't be more happy to be heading home. My happiness grew more happy to be heading home. My happiness grew more as I pulled into my driveway and saw a familiar silver car already parked.

A mess of bright red hair was prominent in the driver's side window. I threw open my door and rushed to the car while my boyfriend, Josh, stepped out with a bright grin on his face. I quickly reached to hug him, the force causing him to stagger back. I closed my eyes and let his scent engulf me.

    "Fancy seeing you here" I laughed. He let out a sign of laughter and kissed my forehead. "You come here often?" He joked back. I playfully rolled my eyes and gestured to my house behind me. "No, actually, I don't. This is my first time here." I said sarcastically. I broke away from his embrace and he followed me as I unlocked my front door and went inside.

"So, how was school today, baby?" He asked as he placed two glasses on the counter and went to the refrigerator. I loved how at home he seemed at my place. "Not so great," I admitted, "Remind me again why I go there everyday? He chuckled. "Because an etymology degree isn't going to earn itself, ring a bell, Y/N?"

"Oh right, Hope the career is worth this struggle, though I'd hate to be enduring this for no reason." I emitted with a sigh. "Me too, baby. But I know how to turn such a bad day around – go get changed and what do you say we go out?" Josh took a sip of his juice and reached to place a hand on my hip.

"I'd love nothing more, babe," I started "I'll be right back." With that, I left the kitchen and headed upstairs to my bedroom.

     I quickly got to work setting out a nice casual outfit to change into. Then, I shed my current clothes, leaving me in just my under garments. My eyes took a second lingering on my scarred thighs: the evidence of my self destruction. Cutting myself wasn't something I'd done in a while– I have partially Josh to thank for that–but there was  still prominent scars embellishing my upper legs and I hated them. I gulped and tried to fight the tears that were making their way into my eyes, clouding my vision.

Suddenly, the door opened and Josh was in the doorway holding a box of Reese's Puffs.

     "Darling, do you have any–" His breath hitched when he looked up and saw my states I stood there, frozen with my gaze fixed on him for a moment.

His eyes drifted down to my thighs then widened. I lunged into the bathroom in my room, being quick about shutting the door behind me. My hands fumbled for the lock. I twisted it, watching through blurred eyes as my hands shook. I heard a soft know as I took a deep breath.

    "Y/N," his voice rang through the wooden door, "Please open the door... How come– how come you didn't tell me? I can't believe I had no clue. How could I have been so blind..? Please open up, I know you must feel so embarrassed, but you don't need to. I want to talk to you, Y/N." I sighed.

I didn't know what to say, what argument to give him, so I reluctantly extending my hand to the doorknob. I unlocked the door without a sound. I back away and took a seat in the side of the bathtub as the door slower opened. Josh's head of red strands peeked from behind the door first, and before I knew it I was in his arms with him sitting on the bathroom floor.

     "Josh.. I..." I didn't know where to even start. Do I apologize? Do I justify it? "Shh, Shh." He emitted. "You don't have to say anything, Y/N. I just want to say that I'm sorry. I feel horrible that I had not even the foggiest clue, baby girl. I love you so much and I don't want this for you. Nothing is worth tarnishing your beautiful skin. I don't understand... Why, Y/N?" He stared deep into my eyes, his empathetic look making me die a little inside.

"Oh, Josh, baby, it's not your fault. I just felt so... low and worthless. I was at the lowest points when each of these were made. I haven't in awhile, and that's partly because of you..." "Good," he replied, "You don't ever need to do this again; Please don't. I'll give my all to help ensure you never feel worthless again. Starting now.." He finished the statement my leaning in and meeting my lips with his the most passionately he ever had.

A single act never made me feel so loved. It went on forever.

    We stopped when he stood with me in his arms, making his way back into my room. He gently laid me onto my bed and followed that by hovering over me. He captured my lips in yet another kiss, expressing how hard he was yearning to show me that I'm loved. His hand ghosted over my side repeatedly. He was always so tender with me and I loved it, he was even more so now.

He parted from my lips only to change his focus to leaving wet pecks down my jawline. Then, he pulled away and inched his way down until he was eye level with my thighs.

     "Y/N, my love, it breaks my heart that you were ever at that low of a point and I was oblivious," he ended that by kissing a scar on my thigh, "I don't want you to do this to your beautiful body again, I wish you never did."

Another kiss. This went on until all the scars had been kissed. Then he left a trail kisses up my torso until he reached my neck. His mouth worked on it viciously as his nimble hands snaked around to where my bra was latched together. He undid my bra and slid it down my arms and off me. He leaned back to take me in for a second and I panicked. "Is something wrong?" I asked frantically. "Of course not! Everything is perfect; You're perfect, baby." He said as he stood to take off his clothing and I finished the job of removing mine.

His hand moved down to stroke my clit for a moment before I laid down on my bed again. He carefully climbed over me and aligned his member with my center.

    With a slow lunge he entered me. He was being more gentle than normal and it drove me wild. Josh sighed once he was in me to the hilt. I moaned as he pulled back again and prepared to collide our hips once more. "Yes, Y/N. Let me hear you. There's nothing I love hearing more." He encouraged. I couldn't help but giggle just thinking of all the things he put my moans above.

"Only you can think of something to giggle about while we're making love." he chuckled while keeping up his easy rhythm inside of me. "That's another reason you're perfect." I smiled at his statement. Before long, my toes curled at a sensation in my stomach that Josh never failed to bring me. My hips thrusted towards his automatically. "I know what that means." he winked. I loved that he was always so flirtatious with me, no matter the situation.

"I'm close, Joshua." I emitted.  I got a nod in response, he didn't need to say he was, too. I knew. Our heavy breathing rang throughout my room as Josh sped up to manipulate the knot in my torso. My hands gripped his biceps harshly as my orgasm hit me capriciously.

My core throbbed, working wonders for Josh who was still at work above me. Several thrusts later, he gripped the sheets next to me as he released inside of me, absentmindedly thrusting through his high. With a sigh he flipped to lay next to me. "I hate that you felt like you had to do that to yourself at any point. You don't have to any more. I love you, Y/N. Remember that." Josh told me tenderly as he pulled me to his side. "I love you, too, Josh. And so much for going out, huh?" I replied, laughing. He chuckled, "I like this better."