Band Self Harm Imagines

Gerard Way

You sat on the floor of your bathroom, a familiar situation, as tearsfell down your cheeks. You looked down at the small razor in your hand, you had promised Gerard that you wouldn't hurt yourself again, but life was just becoming too much again, you needed to do this. You swiftly slid the thin piece of metal across your forearms several times, stopping to watch the beads of blood forming on top of your new cuts in your skin.

The tears stopped falling down your cheeks for a moment as you felt a sense of satisfaction at what you were doing.
You continued cutting lines across your arm, however stopping at the sound of keys jingling at your front door; there was only one person it could be, Gerard. You suddenly wished that you hadn't of given him that key to your apartment. You tried to ignore the constant jingling of the keys knowing that the lock on your front door was usually faulty and took time to open.
"Honey?" he called out in desperation, once finally pushing the door open. He had been texting your for the past day and you hadn't replied once; he became worried and rushed over to your apartment.

"Y/n?" he called out louder. You kept silent in the bathroom, thinking that he'd go away thinking that you weren't home. Noticing the closed bathroom door, he jogged towards it praying that you was inside; he was terrified that something bad had happened to your. Upon opening the door, all his worries became true in front of his eyes
"Y/n..." he exhaled slowly, seeing you cutting away at your arm, many fresh cuts already oozing with blood.
"Go away" you snapped at him, you never wanted him to see your like this.
"Y/n stop" he crouched down next to you and tried reaching for the blade.
"No" you growled holding it away from him

"Give it to me"
"I said no!"

"Give me the blade" he said sternly, "Please" you finally looked up at him, noticing the small tears pricking in the corners of his eyes. Without another word you placed it into his open hand and he slid it into his back pocket. Gerard reached up and grabbed the towel from the rack above you, wrapping it around your bleeding arm, pulling you into his arms and cradling you tightly.

"Y/n why?" he asked, rocking your slightly,

"It's all too much Gerard, I've had enough, I needed this" your voice was a little louder than previously still with a snappy tone. Your face dropped when noticing your attitude, "I-I'm sorry, I broke our promise"

"I don't care about the promise right now, are you okay? There's a lot of cuts" he lifted the towel marginally exposing the numerous cuts.

"Yeah I'll be fine, I never even cut that deep" you shrugged lightly, "I usually just wrap it in gauze until it stops bleeding and forget about it"
"Where do you keep that?"
"Under the sink" he looked over to see the sink on the opposite side of the room,

"Stay there" he let go of your and walked over to the sink. You took this as your opportunity to examine your new cuts; you lifted the towel to see them, which caused your to break down into tears again. As you did Gerard was back at your side in a flash, gauze in hand,

"Babe" he shushed and hugged you tightly, "Babe" he repeated in a quieter voice, rocking your body once again. When you had settled down a little, he stopped rocking you and used his thumb to wipe the tears off your face,
"Arm out" you did as you was told and held it out in front of your. He removed the towel and quickly replaced it with a few layers of gauze bandage, tightly taping the end down with strapping tape.

The two of you sat on the cold tiled floor in silence for minutes, you still held in Gerard's arms

"Why did you come here?" you asked, barely in a whisper,
"You hadn't replied to my texts in over a day and I was worried"
"You shouldn't of come" you answered, voice even lower than before, kind of hoping that he wouldn't hear
"If I hadn't, you could've killed yourself"

"I wasn't planning on killing myself!" you snapped at him. Your mood was currently like a roller coaster. "I just needed to feel something, to release the pain and fear I've been feeling lately!"
"You could've just talked to me"
"I-" you paused, "I hate being such a burden to you" you sighed
"In no way are you ever a burden to me" he hugged your tightly. He felt your body shake a few times before he felt his shirt dampen, "Babe" he exhaled sadly. He felt your small arms wrap around his back,
"Thank you Gerard " you sniffled quietly

"You literally mean the world to me y/n, please don't scare me like that again"
"I won't" you rested your head on his shoulder and sighed, "You mean the world to me too" he smiled and planted a few slow kisses on your nose and cheeks, causing your to smile back and blush lightly.

"I love you y/n"
"I love you too"

Gerards words stuck in your head, every time you thought about hurting yourself the look on his face that day stopped you. He helped you to stay clean day after day, starting the slow process of making you happy again, willing to stop at nothing to make the girl of his dreams smile everyday.