A Little Bit Of Everything (EARLIER CALLED YOUNG, WILD AND FREE)

2. //let's begin... //

From "One Art" by Elizabeth Bishop:

"I bequeath myself to the dirt to grow from the grass I love,

If you want me again look for me under your boot-soles."
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I think I'm going through a phase. A very wierd phase. Is it just me, or is thinking about the past and remembering every single thing that's happened over the past year, normal?
Because I swear, I can practically hear the wheels turning in my mind as I'm forced to remember everything from my past, good and bad.

*Flashback- almost a year ago*

I walked to school as I always did, my sneakers dragging along the road. Perhaps they felt the longing I had to go back to sleep and were helping me with the torture I usually call school.

I sighed. I wasn't like this, not untill a few months ago. I loved school, friends were never a problem for me and I was a fun person to be with, at least I hoped I was.

But now, it's all just a drag. There was nothing to look forward to anymore, nothing that ignited the feeling of pure longing in my mind.
I just woke up, got ready went to school, got through the day, came back home, did my homework, and went back to bed.

There was no... Fun.

I've never really been one to party hard, I mean..I must have gone to about three teenage parties my entire life and I've never quite liked the taste of alcohol, but I did get drunk at a party once...and boy .. I'd like to say that spray painting your friend's roof pink is not a very sensible thing to do...especially if you're blindfolded and wearing six-inch heels.

Suddenly, I felt a pat on my head, and a hand slung itself around my waist. I smiled, this was something that helped me get through my day. I didn't even have to look up to know who it was.

Alex Hill was possibly the last ray of light in my boring life right now. He was the third, just after my two best friends, Sarah and Tiana.
I'd been dating him for two years now, and we were still going strong ,if not stronger.

He knew everything about me, and he was with me all the way. Whenever I cried, or I was upset, he was there. All he had to do was shoot me one of those dazzling smiles, or maybe just stick his tongue out at me, and I would feel better.

He was my best friend.

''Gabbie!'' he said, as he stole the bar of chocolate I was snacking on.

I frowned at him, and tried grabbing my food back, but he was too tall.
"Two things Alex. Firstly, how many times have I told you not to call me that? It's embarrassing, and secondly..." I said, inching closer to him, as silence draped us, the only sounds were the squeal of our sneakers against the sidewalk.

''Don't you dare steal me food again, or else you'll find the food in your locker gone before you can blink!" I yelled into his year, causing him to grimace.

"Geez woman, anyone would think I'm trying to kill you, the way you react to things I do!" He said, rubbing his ears.

I sighed.

Sometimes I wonder how I fell for this dork in the first place, and then I look at him, and realize...
I fell for him because he was a dork.
My dork.

###

I entered my classroom for first period and spotted Sarah James waving at me as if she's seen me for the first time in a million years.

She is the only one who knows about my family and likes me for the real me, not the image that I have unconsciously created to mask my real self.

Everyone thinks I am this happy, bubbly girl who's got everything easy in life, and that I got whatever I wanted, whenever I wanted it.