miss-fit

Russian Roulette

"I love you, J," I said with a grin plastered on my face, "but you're a dick and I hate you."

He began to open his mouth but I stopped him by putting a finger up and he just laughed.

I guess it's safe to say that he doesn't have feelings, so when he laughs, he laughs at other people's emotions. Like I said, I only have two: love and... crazy. Is crazy an emotion? I don't care.

"I never said I was done," I laughed back. "I don't know who I want to kill more, you or myself. What would you do if I killed myself? Would you even care?... Probably not, right?"

He looked at me with a straight face now, his silver teeth prominent.

"You wouldn't right?" I grinned.

He kept looking at me, and I think he was afraid that I might actually do it.

"Good," I said, stretching my hand out, summoning the revolver in the coffee table.

The drawer opened and the gun swiftly moved into my hand. Once I had it in my grasp, I opened the revolver barrel and took out all the bullets expect for one.

Closing it again and spinning the barrel, I cocked the revolver and put the tip of the narrow muzzle to the side of my head while tossing the excess rose gold bullets to J's feet.

"How 'bout a little Russian Roulette?," I said in not much of a question.

His eyes widened slightly but all he did was say, "go ahead."

And I did. He didn't care, so why should I?

I pulled the trigger the first time. Nothing.

The second? Nothing.

Why was I doing this? To prove a point? To test him? I've given him enough tests, he doesn't care. Or maybe, I don't care...

I don't care whether I live or die right now, right in this moment.

He could die, I could finally do it and kill him. That was what I meant to do in the first place, that's how I met him,

Memories kept flowing back to my brain. I remember when I first became myself, the way Lance's skull was so easy to slice into.

Or the way I saved that one girl in the alleyway. Ten points to Gryffindor!

Or how about when I first met J? I'd give anything to be as strong as I was then. He's crazy, I'm crazy, our daughter, she's probably crazy, too.

She didn't even flinch when I pulled out that gun on Mary. Oh, Mary, so naïve.

Do it, Missy! Pull the trigger!

You love him though, you can't do it!

Missy, c'mon, just get it over with!

That third shot, had nothing, empty,

And the fourth was vacant.

I laughed knowing that the last one had the bullet, the fifth one.

J stared like he was watching an interesting show, I guess we were both having fun.

One, two, three, four, how many times will I have to shoot to get out of this world?

Y'know what? Fuck it.

Cocking the gun, I finally shot the only bullet.

So this is really short because last chapter was really long and it seemed like a good place to end it, but I will most likely post the soon, and by soon, I mean this week.

I also made a little adjustment to "Too Toxic," tell me what you think it is.

Also tell me if you think Missy's dead! I love hearing from you guys!

All the love xx

-Kait💀