I Cant Do This Anymore (Nathan Sykes fanfiction)

How to save more than one broken soul

*Jay's POV

Max and Lucy head off outside leaving us sitting in our awkward silence. I just sit there twiddling my thumbs whilst Charly falls asleep on my shoulder. She looks strangely peacefull. I guess this whole mess has taken its toll on her. I look over at Tom, he's reading something. A letter. I know exactly what it is. It's Nathans suicide letter. Suddenly he jumps up. "THAT UTTER TWAT!" and kicks the table. Everyone jumps up out of their trance. I run up to him "woah Tom calm down!" He looks at  me with tears in his eyes "NO JAY! He's meant to be a brother and he did this! He beat Nath up and tortured him mentally! and Now Nathan might be dead and it's all Max's fault!" I snatch the letter from his hands and read through it, 

Hey guys

I can't really believe I'm writing this. I just want you too know this wasnt your fault, you guys are my brothers but I just can't do it anymore. I can't stay in a world ths cruel. I can't stay in a world so full of hate and anger. The voices are too much. they tell me what I really am. A failure, A shell of what I used to be, reduced to hurting myself everyday just to feel some sort of control. But that isn't enough anymore. I can't control anything and I need to get out.  I never meant for it to end this way but trust me it needs to. 

I owe you all an explanation. There is an elephant in the room. Someone with blood on his hands. Max. Lucy kissed me, I pushed her away but my word isn't enough isnt it? Not for him. he's done this to me guys. Pushed me to my very limit. Hit me, beat me, tortured me mentally. All over a girl. But before you blame him for everything, know this, I'm not right, I don't belong, I always felt this way, even before I met you guys. Max just made me realise this even more, I deserve to die. Truth is I don't know what waits for me after this but I just hope I leave behind the battlefeild in my mind.

Sorry this is all over the place. Thats just what my minds like at the momment. I wish you guys the best for the rest of your lives. Just promise e this. Make sure max gets the help he needs then maybe he won't end up like me. beyond help. I love you boys. yours

Nathan Sykes.

As I read each word outloud revulsion fills even more of my body. Tears fill Charly's eyes, Siva sits there, looking into the distance, not knowing hot to feel and Tom punches the wall again. I sit down and look at him. "What now?" he looks me dead in the eye "He's never ever coming back Jay. What Max has done is unforgivable. He might aswell have put Nathan in the hospital bed!" "yeah but didnt you hear! Nath said he wasnt right anyway!" Siva pipes up. Tom looks at him "Oh and that makes it all ok does it! Maybe if he wasnt being fucking tortured he wouldnt have felt this was the only way out! And now his parents are in that room with him, probably watching heir son die!" Shock contorts every centimeter of my body, Nathans parents. They havent read this yet, they have no clue why their son tried to take his own life yet we do. How is that fair?

At that momment Max and Lucy walk in. Guilt written all over their faces. "we have something to tell you" I look him dead in the eye and manage to say "yeah Max we know". The next few minutes go in slow motion. Tom lunges from his seat. Grab Max's Shoulders and throws him against the wall.

*Tom's POV

"WHY! YOU ABSOLUTE DICKHEAD! WHAT DID HE DO TO YOU! YOU MIGHT ASWELL HAVE PUT HIM IN THAT BED! THIS IS ALL YOUR FAULT!2" anger is coarsing throw my veins at a million miles an hour. I can't control myself, I just wan't to hit him "TOM PLEASE PUT HIM DOWN" I look at locy " AND WE KNOW YOU'RE NOT ALL INNOCENT IN THIS YOU PATHETIC ATTENTIION SEEKING BITCH!" Jay grabs me and pulls me off max. The something takes over and before I know it my fist collides with his face. "TOM!" Charly runs up to me and drags me into a chair " AND WHAT DOES THAT SOLVE! EH? IT MAKES YOU JUST AS BAD AS HIM!" By this point Max has sunk into a chair. His face in his hands. I should have known, Should have seen the signs. But of course all I cared about was getting the album released on time. I'll never forgive myself for not helping babyNath. Max looks at me "Mate please, I know I fucked up-" "you fucked up big time mate, what you've done is unforgivable!" Siva steps inbetween us " Let him have his say, not that he deserves it" Max looks all of us in the eye individually. "Well I guess I owe you guys an explanation"..