I Cant Do This Anymore (Nathan Sykes fanfiction)

"Its ok, you have demons, we all do"

Charly’sPOV

I’d been looking forward to seeing Nathan again since that first night. There seemed to be more to him than to any other boy I’ve met before and that intrigued me. There seemed a rough edge to him, or that he was flawed and I wanted to know more, help if I could. I rushed around that morning, trying to find something to wear that I felt good in and finally settled on a simple dress and trilby hat. I set off to wait for Nath and I was excited...but some feeling inside told me that something would go wrong. He just seemed to be what I think I need, he could light up a room with his smile and I just knew that I had to have him in my life....regardless.

I sat twiddling my thumbs waiting until I heard the door click and span round to see Nathan coming through the door. I smiled sweetly as he sat next to me. “I remembered Carlie saying this was your favourite drink...” I smiled, sliding him a warm cup over the table and seeing him relax. “Thanks!” He smiled weakly.

“So...how about you tell me more about yourself?” He smiled. “Well, you know my name and age, but I love music and I’m a real book worm! I’d love to know more about you though! I mean I think you’re amazing...19 and touring the world with your five best friends! Its incredible...you’re incredible.” I gushed, gently placing my hand against Nathan’s. I saw pain and...fear....cross his face when I mentioned the other lads. What was that?! It seemed to hurt him, or terrify him and I just don’t know why. “Thank you...” he stammered, seeming to have gone almost into a different world. I don’t quite understand him... “Nathan, what’s the matter?” I asked nervously. “I can’t do this...” he stammered, quickly getting up and walking out the door.

Nathan’s POV

“NATHAN.” I heard her yell as I crossed over the road. It sounded pained, hurt and most of all she sounded confused. I couldn’t do this to her. She’s phenomenal and cute, funny and she’s just amazing, but maybe I found the right one...at the wrong time. I don’t wanna drag a girl like her into my life at the minute, having to put up with my nightmares, the bruises and the pain that’s there every day. I just can’t. It’s not fair at all.  “Nathan please...” I heard her stammer. I turned round to see her and tears slowly starting to fall down her cheek. “What is it this time? Not clever enough? Not tall enough? Not pretty enough? What is it Nathan?!” she sobbed softly. “Charly please....” I asked her. “I cant Nathan...I thought you were different than others and for once I thought I’d found someone who actually liked me...” She stammered. “I do like you...more than like you....but...” I told her. “But what?” She asked. “I can’t let you in, I can’t bring you into my life, its more harm than good.” I whispered. “Nath...what do you mean?” She asked me, coming over and looking right into my eyes. “There’s demons in my life that you don’t deserve to be surrounded with...you’re worth more than that to me and you could have better.” I admitted. “Better than someone who actually cares ey? That’s gonna be hard Nathan, trust me. It’s okay you have demons, we all do after all. But why should you have to suffer alone? I get it, if you don’t wanna be with me, but think again if you think I’m going to just disappear from your life.” She smiled weakly, leaning over and gently planting a small kiss on my cheek. And then a feeling came over me, almost a wave of calm, knowing that I had someone there. Yeah, I have the boys but sometimes it’s hard, when the tension is there to be able to relax with them. “Thank you...” I whispered softly, pulling her in for a hug.

*Later that night*

I came home feeling almost alright for the first time in what felt like ages. I did have feelings for Charly and seeing what my running out did to her crippled me. I’m glad that I can still have her in my life cause I think she’ll be the one to help me get through all this. I need someone like that. I lay in my room listening to the tracks me and Tom had been working on before I heard footsteps coming up the stairs. Angry footsteps. I began to tense up, sitting myself up. The door swang back, clattering on the wall, bouncing back as he stormed through the door. “You cocky little shit. You write one song and think you’re the greatest ey? Nothing. That’s what you mean. And you think that girl from today, you think she actually cares about you...I bet you anything she doesn’t. Who would want you?” he sneered, each word making me feel smaller and smaller. Tearing away more and more of my confidence...each word like a stab in the back. He lashed out quickly, winding me, before storming out the door, clattering the door back into the frame making the whole room shake. I felt my body shake with pain and fear and then the thought popped back into my mind. I looked down at the lines that covered my legs and how theyd provided me release. I leaned over to find the razor, turning it gently in my hand, the voice at the back of my head spurring me on. Maybe I did deserve those cuts. Yes. I did.

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Hey guys! so sorry this is late :S so hectic atm with work and college :/ As you've probably guessed coz its so good, I didnt write this chapter, My amazing new cowriter @charlyrobsonx did :) its a new thing as I'm struggling to balnace college, work and fics. We're going to write a chapter each :) its still my fic and I tell charly how I want the chapter to look like and she writes what she wants :D It just takes the pressure off me for a bit :) so one chapter will be me, then charly then back to me again etc :) so yeah hope you like charly's amazing work! all credit goes to her! (oh and in her chapters she'll write her own A/N's aswell) much loves Ellz and Charly xxxxx