I Cant Do This Anymore (Nathan Sykes fanfiction)

"Why are you doing this?"

*Jay's POV

I'm running late!!!  Oh god I'm meant to be meeting Carlie later and I overslept! I rush around my room just grabbing random items of clothing not really caring if they match or not. "YOU STUPID LITTLE SHIT!" Brilliant Max is in a foul mood and Nath is taking the brunt of it again. Wonder what drama's going on now. "WHY DO YOU ALWAYS FUCK EVERYTHING UP!!!"  I sigh in frustration. Siva and Tom must have gone to the studio as they havent done anything about it. "MAX I'M SORRY! IT Was AN ACCIDENT!" I quickly run downtstairs, someones got to seperate this. I get to the kitchen to see Nathan on all fours picking up bits of a smashed cup and Max standing over him shouting in fury. I quickly step in the middle.

"Right Max calm the fuck down! Nath what happened?" Max quickly pipes up again. "He smashed the cup Lucy got me when we went to spain!" ahhh the cup. Max loves it, its the last thing he has of Lucy. "it was an accident! I didnt do it on purpose! I was making a cup of tea and i knocked it!" "YOU FUCKING LIAR! YOU SMASHED IT COZ YOU KNEW LUCY GOT IT FOR ME!" I see Nathan wince as Max spits this out. I'm gonna have to intervine "Right Max go upstairs and calm down" I have to bassically man handle him up the stairs.

I quickly look at my phone. SHIT!  I'm 20 minutes late already. I quickly text Carlie explaining that I was sorry and stuff and run down stairs where Nath is sitting in the living room watching TV. Well I say watching it looks more like staring at the TV. He has a kind of glazed over look like he's deep in thought. Its kind of worrying to watch.  wave my hand in front of him and he jumps back to reality. "you alright mate?" I say.

"Yeah I'm fine" he looks at my jacket and shoes "going out?" there is a kinf of nervous apprehention in his voice as he asks this. "Errr yeah going to see  Carlie, I'm running late so I have to rush off" mommentarally a look of horror flsahses over his eyes.Like I've just told him the worst news in the world. I quickly say goodbye and rush over to Carlies.

I rush round as quick as I ca, thankfully its only a 10 minute walk. I buzz her flat and she lets me in, when I get up there she's waiting in the doorway looking very pissed off....

*Nathan's POV

"Shit shit shit" I mutter to myself as Max's favorite cup smashes to peices at my feet. I knocked it as I was reaching to get a mug in the cupboard. I quickly try to pick the smashed bits of glass up but its too late. "YOU STUPID LITTLE SHIT!" I feel Max's pressence aboce me. The reason he loves this stupid cup so much is cox Lucy brought it for him in Spain when the went there for their 2 year aniversery. It has palm tree's around the top and his name written accross the middle. It means the world to him as its one of the very few things he has left that give him a connection to her. I am in so much shit right now. He pushes my shoulder hard and I sumble over hitting the cupboard. He picks the pieces of glass up, hurt in his eyes. Before looking right into my eyes with fury in his own "WHY DO YOU ALWAYS FUCK EVERYTHING UP!" I dont know what to say but if I dont say something now he's gonna knock the living daylights out of me, he thinks I did it on purpose "MAX I'M SORRY! IT WAS AN ACCIDENT!" He isnt buying any of it, he raises his fist and I cover my face but thankfully we hear Jay running downstairs. He runs into the kitchen and pulls Max away and u to his room.

I sit on the couch and put the TV on but I'm not really taking any of it in. I cant concentrate on it. My minds working over time. This cant go on yet If I tell anyone The band might aswell be history. I need this and I wont risk it all comming down around me. The stress of it all isnt helping though. I'm on edge all the time and anxious. I cant sleep coz of the nightmares I've been having recently. I cant really concentrate on things either coz my minds always racing. What do I do?

A hand waving in front of my face brings me back to reality and I look up to see Jay. He has his shoes on and jacket in hand so I know he's going out. He leaves and panic sets in. I'm home alone with Max. Tom and Siva had to go to the studio this morning. I knew I should have gone with them! I run up to my room and sit on my bed. "3,2,1" I mutter under my breath and on que my foor slams open, hitting the wall so hard it shakes. Max is stood in my doorway bellowing insults at me "YOU PATHETIC, WORTHLESS PILE OF CRAP! YOU BRING NOTHING TO THIS BAND! YOUR JUST TAKING UP LIMELIGHT FOR THE OTHERS! I MEAN FUCKING LOOK AT YOU! FAT, UGLY, USELESS THATS WHAT YOU ARE!" His words cut like a knive, slicing my already pretty low confidence into little pieces. Max reached down and grabs my shirt. He roughly pulls it off me. I feel horribly exposed and self concious.

"Fucking look at you! why would any girl want you?" He pulls me up and starts pushing me back "why are you doing this" My voice is barely a whisper. Max comes right up to my face before snarling into my ear "Because I want you to feel just a fraction of the pain I felt when The love of my life left me for you" He then grabs me by the neck and drags me into the bathroom. He starts to fill the sink up. Wheres he going with this? Once the sinks full he grabs me again and pull my head under the water. Instinct kick in and I try to fight him but he's so strong. Holy fuck is he gonna kill me? I feel like I'm about to pass out and my heart is racing quicker then anything and just as I feel like I'm about to pass out he drags me up again.

"See its not fun is it? To feel like your drowning! To feel like your whole life is being taken away form you!" He throws me down on the floor before walking out. Leaving me there gasping for breath and shaking. Tears roll down my face. His words earlier still ringing in my ears. He was right! I am fat I am ugly, what women would seriously want me?!!! I quickly run into my room and throw my shirt on so I dont have to see my bare body. I lie on my bed and just stare at thr oom, flashbacks of today ocasionally ringing through my head. I honestly dont know how much more I can take. I just lie there letting the day pass by before slipping inot a numb, dreamless sleep...

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Sorry this took ages! I kept getting distracted haha oh and sorry for dodgy spelling, I am currently having issues with my sight and need to go back to the optitions -,- but I wont bore you with the details hahaha so yeah hope yous like! enjoy :) much love Ellz xxx