I Cant Do This Anymore (Nathan Sykes fanfiction)

The Most Terrifying Part Of Life Is Closing Your Eyes...

*Nathans POV

As I stand in my trackies shifting through my wardrobe, I let out a sigh of frustration. I have absolutley no motivation to go out and get drunk tonight, especially not with Max. After another 5 minutes of searching I finally decide on a checkered shirt, black jeans and a white cap. I stare down at the cuts on my legs from a fresh sesion just a few minutes earlier. I sigh and continue getting ready, I can hear the boys laughing and joking downstairs, getting excited that the record label let us have a week off, but they always say how much of a shame it is that its at my expense. I dont care, I dont want time off, it means more time with him. I may head home for the week, try to take my mind of even though I know at the back of my mind I'll be counting down the days until I have to return to the nightmare that is my life.

"Nath fucking hurry up will ya, there are nightclubs out there full of hot girls just waiting for us!!!" Toms voice booms up to my room and I suddenly realise I've been staring at my reflection, again lost in thought for 10 minutes. I take one last non approving glnace and bolt downstairs where the lads are waiting for me. "Bout time!" Jay says as I go to greet them "Right, now that Nath has finally finished his makeup we can go, lets go boys!" We head off to the waiting taxi...

*In nightclub*

I head off to get the second round of drinks, Toms in the corner with this blonde girl, Siva and Nareesha are dancing (she met us at the first club), Jay's waiting for me to get back and Max is probably somewhere in the corner with his tounge down a girls throat or worse. By the time I get back to our booth Tom has joined us with the blonde sitting on his lap. "Alright Nath! This is kelsey, shes an old friend I havent seen in ages!" I say hello and sit down next to Jay and take a sip of my drink. Hard to believe that a few months ago I would consider this a good night out. getting off my face and taking advantage of drunk girls then waking up the next day thinking "2 girls? what a night!". It just all dosent feel the same anymore, I'd much rather be at home, in my room, safe. Well I'm not safe am I? Max is still there but thats not what I'm in the most danger from, My biggest danger is myself. I dont know why I cant stop doing this to myself but I just cant, the past few days its become my crutch. My way of making things go away for just aa short amount of time, its the only thing I can rely on now to take the emotional pain away coz the physical pain is so much easier to bare....

I hear footsteps and feel someones arm grab my shoulder firmly. I flinch, my body goes temporarily into shock and my pulse quickens. I drag myself from my daydream and turn round to see who the arm belongs to. I brace myself only to find it is Jay. He already looks half cut and he motions for me to slide along the seat im sitting on. He sits next to me and flings his arm heavily around my shoulder. "Why aren't you having a good time mate? Its the start of our week off and you should be happy!" He smiles, taking a sip of whatever concoction of alcohol hes drinking tonight and stares at me. "I dunno, not in the mood I suppose, not that theres anything wrong with the night." I mutter back, struggling to even come up with a lacklustre answer to hide how much I hate being here. "Mate...seriously? What's gotten into you? You used to love these nights?" he utters, dissapointment laces his voice and I know I should feel guilty, yet his question sends my blood boiling. "Well Jay...I dont know. Maybe I have so much to deal with that I could do without this stress too?" I spit, and I instantly regret it, but deep down I secretly needed to let it out. "Wow mate." he spits, emphasising the "mate".  "You've changed Nathan. Youre not the Sykes I knew." He stammers and gets up leaving me alone once again. I sit there....some Rihanna song fills the air and I get fed up. I slam my drink down and head towards the door. No use being here after all Nathan... Charly's POV Great, Carlies gone to visit her Sister for the weekend and I'm stuck indoors on a Friday night with nothing to do. Most people would be happy to have the house to themselves but I hate it, I get so lonely. Pluss theres nothing good in TV! The plan is, go to Blockbuster get a couple of movies out then go to tescos and get loads of icecream and chocolate and spend the night spraweled in front of the TV pigging out and crying at chiflicks! I'm walking towards blobkbuster when I see a figure storming towards me, Panick rises as I realise I left my phone at home. Ok calm down Char, maybe its just someone out for a powerwalk? As they got closer I see the outline of a cap, and see that its a bloke. As he comes closer I recognise his features and relief and joy rush through me. Nath looks up and his features soften as he smiles "Alright Char?" I smile back "Not too bad Sykes, what you doing out on your own then? where are the others?"  he frowns, "I kinda had an argument with jay and stormed off" He searches around his pockets "Shit and I've forgotten my keys, The boys wont be back for ages yet" I think and come up with an idea "well I have the house to myself tonight and was just going out for some movies and snacks, fancy joining me?" He nods and pulls me into a hug before walking off to Town with me. "Oh my why did I let you choose the women in black? Sykes you are evil" I say hiding behing a cushion. Nath laughs "Your such a wimp char, its not even that scary!" I pout and quickly put the cushion back over my face as another scary part jumps out at me. By the end of the film I'm clinging onto Nath with him laughing at me, well its not my  fault I'm terrified of scary movies is it? "Whats the time char?" Nath asks as he goes to empty the popcorn bowel, I check my phone, "Crap, its 1 in the morning!"  He comes in and grabs my phone "I didnt realise it was so late! crap If the boys are back they'll be asleep, gonna piss them off even more if I knock on the door" I have an idea "stay here? I cant let you stay in Carlies room shes dead OCD and would notice the slightest change but you could have my room? I dont mind the sofa" Worry spreads accross his face before he gives in, realising his has no other option. "Ok but there is no way your giving up your bed char! Dont look at me like that, I'm having the sofa!" Something wakes me up, I have no idea what it is, but all I know is I'm thirsty! must be the popcorn! I head downstairs when I hear Naths voice, its raised, panicked, in fact it sounded more like sheer terror! I quickly run into the living room to see him on the sofa thrashing around, shouting in terror "PLEASE NO, GO AWAY!! DONT KILL ME PLEASE DONT KILL ME, HELP HELP SOMEONE!" I try shaking him, shouting his name "Nath, NATH PLEASE WAKE UP!" His eyes spring open and he sits up, his eyes darting violently around the room, He looks at me "Nath its ok its me char, you were having a bad dream" Tears fill his eyes and I pull him into my arms, "shhhh its ok, your safe now" He sits back up and dries his eyes "I'm sorry char" "No dont be! Nath what was happening, you sounded terrified!" He looks me in the eyes "Its just the movie babe, looks like your not the only one who gets scared easily!" he laughs "Now go back to bed, I'm tired" I get my drink and walk upstairs, shaken. Thats the first time I've ever heard someone having a full on nightmare. Hopefully it was just a one off... --------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Sorry about the lateness!!!!! Hopefully its worth the wait! Some credit must also go to @charlyrobsonx as she helped me alot :) Much love my'lovelys <3