Trapped//Phan

Chapter Thirteen

Trigger Warning

'Im

Gonna

DIE

Dan thought drastically. Yes. He opened his eyes. Yes, he felt somone. Yes, this was the first time anyone has witnessed Dan's attacks.

"Dan. It's okay. We're gonna go back home. It's okay. I got you Dan. Stay with me." Phil pleaded. Phil felt like it was okay to say that. But were Dan and Phi friends? Maybe not. But they were close, they understood each other. They were going to be good friends. Because they both cared.

'P-P-Phil." Dan chokked out. He inhaled deepy tryin to make up for the loss of air. "I-I'm s-sorry." Hee mananged to get out. Tears multiplied. Quickly.

You better be sorry
Phil doesn't want to deal with your shit Dan.
He doesn't care
He's doing this because he has to.
Idiot.
You didn't even know that?

"Don''t. You. Ever. Apologize. For. Something. Like. This." Phil sternly relied. Making each word pronounced and choppy.

Now he's mad at you
Good job
This is what happens when you stay alive
Honeslty just hold your breath
Nobody wants you here
You're alone
A
L
O
N
E
Always have, always will be.
Get the fuck out of this world
You never belonged

Dan sobbed. He sobbed because the voice never went away. It never disappeared.He listened to it 24/7. And forever it seemed, that's how it would stay.

Oh I'm sorry Dan did I hurt your feelings?
That's reality Dan
Grow up.

"Dan listen to me. Just me. Dan. Let's go home (*cough* Toko Ghoul *cough*). Lets go. Don't panic, don't be scared, we're gonna do this together.We're gonn get through this together. C'mon Dan. Fight."

And Dan fought. He fought hardd. HE felt like e was taking on life itself.

C'mon Dan.
Fight.

It seemed like hours to Dan, but he persevered like never before.

He.
Won.

But this was only a small battle, of a monstrous war. Dan didn't care. He won.

Dan smiled.His first smile in thirty eight hours. First smile since she died. First smile he was proud to wear.

Phil smiled. Because this wasn't a fake smile. Dan wa okay. For now. They could go home, bt this was an accomplishment. So Phil decided they were gonna celebrate.

"Let's go." Dan said breaking the silence. efore he got badaagain. Before the voice returned. Befre thi would happen again.

"It looks nice." Phil said. The wordsleft his mouth before he could process what he said.

Dan furrowed his eyebrows.

"The suit." Phil clarified. "It looks good on you."

Dan looked down. Realizing he still had the suit on. dan stood up to start undressing. Phil sat there for a couple seconds. Dan looked at him, you know the can-you-please-leave-but-I'm-too-awkward-to-ask look. Phil got the message and jumped up embarrassed.

"See you at the check-out." Phil muttered walking very fast out.

Dan got dressed and started heading towards the check out. His mood had already dropped. Not quite as bad, BUt still bad. zHe saw Phil. Phil turned and smiled at Dan waving him over. Dan fake smiled, which mde Phil frown. dan held his fake smile. Pondering why Phil was frowning.

Did he notice?

Dan thought.

That you're a attention seeking asshole?
yeah I think he did Dan.

Oh great you're back..

Yes I am.
Pleased to see me?

I was sarcastic

Just like how you were clean for two days?

I am.

Not soon.

Dan gulped. Stopping the conversation he was having with himself. He was afraid. Not the 'oH sHiT! JUMOSCARE!' or the 'CrAp! THIS IS TOO SCARY FOR ME' This was the "Oh fuck. I might die rniht and no one wil care and if i don't I iwll ever escape my dark thoughts' scared.

"thank you. 'he heard Phil say turning to leave the shop. Dan rushed behind him.

"Phil what were the suits for?" Dan asked. Phil didn't respond. "Phil." Phil kept walking. "Phil!" Dan yelled grabbing Phil's shoulder in the parking lot.

"Emily's funeral." Phil deadpanned.

Dan eyes widened. "I'm not going." he whispered looking down.

"Yes Dan. You are." Phil told him. Dan laughed.

"No. I'm not. I-" Dan exhaled. "I can't." Dan looked down at his shoes, to avoid the look on Phil's face, to avoid the disappointment in Phil's eyes. Dan could hardly see his shoes though, it was still dark, still the night.

"Dan!" Phil yelled angrily. "I get it I know you loved her, but go to her funeral. She at least deserves that."

"SHE DIDN'T DESERVE ANY OF IT!" Dan snapped. He moved his head, eye level with Phil. Fury burned deeped inside both of their eyes as the stared each other down.

His star that lit his path
that gave him light during darkness
Died
Is gone
F
o
r
e
v
e
r

"You try." Dan spat. "Going to your girlfriends funeral when she fucking dies in your arms, when you could've fucking saved her but you didn't. You try seeing the light drain from the person yu loved eyes. And then go to their fucing funeral."

"You're not the only one that loved. She was my friend. I loved her too. You're in the same boat as everyone else Dan." Phil said coldly. Dan's eyes widened at Phil's words. Phil sighed. "look, Dan. You're not alone. Just come to the funeral."

Dan didn't know what happened. But the next word that was going to come out of his mouth, was not him. He didn't know why he said this, but he said it, and it's too late to take back.

Dan looked into Phil's eyes, they had softened. Instead sadness tears contaminated his happiness. "Okay."