Trapped//Phan

Chapter Thirty- Three

CAUTION: Long chapter and long A/N at the end

Dan let go of Ali and say down, she didn't seem to be crying loudly anymore. But that was because Ali was happy, that she was finally noticed, and she felt loved. The worst part is Dan thought he made it so much worse.

Emma kept asking questions to people, pretending not to notice what had just happened; and Dan pretended he didn't notice Emma. The group continued talking, Dan tuned out, the conversations just made his blood boil. They all talked about 'getting better' and 'helping one another out.' But on the first day Dan saw how much that all meant to them. Dan looked at Phil, Phil also seemed out of it.

Why did we come here in the first place then?

Dan asked himself, he began to realize he was now staring at Phil for an abnormally long amount of time.

Doesn't matter right?
As long as Phil doesn't see!

Dan though mindlessly, until Phil's eyes met his. Neither looked away, neither wanted to. They both continued to stare, saying nothing, thinking nothing, just staring. Dan felt heat rush to his cheeks for no reason, he looked away. He pulled his sleeves up over his hands and covered his face. Dan looked at the ground, hoping nobody noticed, hoping Phil didn't notice.

Phil smiled watching Dan blush, to Phil it was adora-

"Phil." Emma called him, gining his attention. " You said someone died... would you mind-uh- explaining?" She asked.

"My best friend died," Phil restated. "She was Dan's girlfriend." he added.

"Oh." Emma sighed.

"Yeah. I think that says everything." Phil declared getting up. Dan gave Phil a confused look, Phil just nodded.

"Where are you going wee still have thirty minutes left!" Emma countered. Her eyebrows were raised in shock .

"Yeah... It's just too soon." Phil replied.

"Are you sure?" Emma insisted. Phil nodded and motioned Dan to come with him. They left the building quickly, once the exit door shut Dan slapped Phil's arm playfully.

"Too soon my ass! What was a;l that about?!" Dan blurted.

Phil laughed. "What? Do you want to go back?" He mused.

"God no!" Dan shrilled.

"Okay then." Phil continued to the car. Dan reluctantly followed.

"So... gay?" Dan brought up.

Phil gave a hefty laugh. "Uh yeah. Are you homopho-"

"NO! NO!" Dan interrupted loudly. "Yeah no defiantly not."

"Okay. Uh... cool. But I have a question for you."

"Shoot." Dan responded.

"Are you.... er-um-well- are you gay?" Phil asked.

"I-I think s-so." Dan responded. "No never mind I'm not- I don't really know." Dan confessed.

"That's okay, you'll figure it out. And I'll help." Phil smiled.

Dan smiled back.
Help?
If anything you've made me question it more!
...
Wait....
NO WAY IN HELL AM I GAY!
But...
What if I am?
DAMNIT!

Phil started on the drive home, and Dan turned up the radio. They sang the songs they knew quietly. It was like that the rest of the ride, and for some reason there seemed to be tension. Phil parked the car and Dan walked inside.

"PHIL!" Dan called to him. "I'M GOING TO BE STUDYING FOR MY LAW EXAM IN THE GAMING ROOM!"

"OKAY!" Phil responded shouting. "I'M GOUNG TO PLAY FINAL FANTASY THOUGH IN THERE IS THAT OKAY?!"

"YEAH SURE." Dan yelled. He walked over to his messy binder and found the review. By this time he could hear Phil laughing, screaming in rage, or even narrating sometimes. Dan read each word on his review carefully with precision, making sure he would try to remember everything for tomorrows exam (because he procrastinated). Dan started to feel  left out, and sad.

Is this my life?
Everything I'm reading, that's going to be my life!
I hate this shit too!
I don't want to hate my job,
And then work for it everyday.
But I have to get a job!

Dan started to have second thoughts, these thoughts seemed to get louder and louder, he couldn't even remember the word he just read. He felt like everything was happening at once, and he was the eye of the hurricane, watching the damage wing done.

Shut up!
I'm trying to make someone proud!
I'm trying to actually do something with my life!
Why? Why do I decide I hate this now?
AAAAGGGHHHH!

"I'M NOT DOING IT!" Dan screamed at the top of his lungs, dramatically throwing his review on the floor.

"What you on about Dan?" Phil asked pausing his game.

"My test. I'm. Not. Taking. It." Dan declared crossing his arms.

"But Dan... don't you have to?" Phil asked slightly concerned.

"So? Doesn't matter. I'm not gonna take it." Dan repeated stubbornly.

"Okay. Why not?" Phil questioned getting up to comfort Dan.

Dan started to burst into tears. "Because I fucking hate it! I hate Law! I hate the school! I hate the people there! I just hate it! And when I grow up I don't want to be unhappy doing a job I hate and regretting everything and-"

"Hey Dan shh." Phil said gently. Wrapped his arms Dan to comfort him. "That's okay. You're right! You shouldn't be doing something that's making you unhappy."

"But I need a career and-"

"You don't have to decide what you're doing right now okay?"

Cold wet tears still fell from Dan's eyes like a waterfall. Every emotion Dan was holding in was all released, and he couldn't stop crying. Whiny, animal-like sounds came from his mouth, his body was trembling. Dan felt Phil's arms tighten a bit, it wasn't too tight though. Dan could feel Phil's warmth, his kindness, his sincerity.

"I'm a failure." Dan thought out loud. He finally accepted Phil's hug and let his chin rest on Phil's shoulder.

"Dan you are nothing short of beautiful, and successful, okay."

"Lies." Dan whispered, clenching the back of Phil's shirt.

"No it's not. And I will never stop saying that until you believe it."

And with that Dan cried the hardest he had ever cried before. Because this was the one thing he has always wanted to hear. And after twenty years, he finally got the support he needed.

Phil Lester,
Dan began to think.
You were well worth the wait.
_________________
I UPDATED ON TIME!! THIS IS A LONGER CHAPTER TO MAKE UP FOR THE THREE WEEKS I DIDN'T UPDATE!!

Okay I'm done typing in all caps now.

It's so sad. This story is going to be wrapping up in 10 or less chapters. I'll start updating more often and hopefully I'll be done before April, that's my plan.

Thank you guys again(for the one thousandth time and counting). No joke It makes me so happy how well this book has done, because I honestly didn't expect much out of it at all. Thank you for reading, especially if you've made this far in the book. I don't know how because the storyline is pretty confusing but still thank you. I mean it.