Trapped//Phan

Chapter Thirty

Late I know. I'm so sorry!!!

Dan sighed as he and Phil entered the apartment.

"That. Was. Awkward." Phil commented.

"Tell me about it." Dan groaned. Dan let himself dalton the couch lazily.

"Support group... that should be...uh..." Phil paused trying to think of a appropriate word to use.

"Hell." Dan finished.

"Well-yeah. But you have to admit it's kind of a good idea..." Phil trailed off.

Dan contorted his face and furrowed his brows. "What did they put in your drink?!"

"Well it's better than a therapist because... who wants to go to a therapist? A support group is like a bunch of friends? Right?"

Dan rolled his eyes. "Left."

"Dan." Phil's voice warned.

"We don't need help." Dan argued.

"Yes you do, yes I do, yes we do." Phil stated.

"But-"

"Stop Dan!" Phil raised his voice. "You're not getting any better, God knows I haven't either. Isn't it worth a shot to get better?" Phil pleaded.

"Fine. Whatever." Dan mumbled under his breath. Dan wasn't exactly mad at Phil, but himself for being so self and not knowing how bad Phil was. Every atom in his body screamed for Dan to hug Phil, but instead he stormed out and put on earbuds. Dan let the loud sound swallow his thoughts and feelings until all he knew were the next lyrics.
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Phil walked into Dan's room about to tell Dan what his parents thought of him. It was a good evaluation, and thankfully they all got along well, despite the frequent awkward moments.

"Da-oh." Phil deadpanned. Dan was lying on his bed with earbuds in both his ears. It wasn't the most attractive pose, but Phil decided sleeping-Dan, was the cutest Dan. Phil exited, feeling slightly uncomfortable with himself, and was feeling like a stalker.

Relief washed over Phil, he felt like Dan was finally getting rest,not constant nightmares and surviving each day with four hours of sleep. Phil always heard Dan when he was up, because Phil was up.

It's kind of strange. Dan can go to sleep easily, but can never stay like that. Nightmares and past memories haunt his mind wherever it goes, imprisoning it. But Phil was having trouble getting to sleep. His mind buzzed and never turned off, constant thoughts in his head, both good and bad. Phil has noticed this, how similar but different he is from Dan, and comparing himself to Dan has only lowered his self esteem. Phil felt bad for that too, because he can't get inside Dan's head. He's tried, but then he only feels he's just fallen down a rabbit hole of nonsense. But that's all it is for Dan. An endless, bottomless, dark rabbit hole of nonsense. Phil doesn't understand any of it, and today is not the day to make sense of it.

Phil turned on his computer and decided to watch some anime specifically Parasyte, which is (to him) one of the best anime's ever. Phil's eyes became glued to the screen as he watched characters play their part, and let you get attached to them. Phil watched another episode, and another episode, and another episode, until all he knew were the characters names.

That's what it did. It distracted Phil, it let him stop thinking, sort of. It calmed his mind, it gave him peace, which is something he hadn't known was so beautiful, until he lost it all. And yet again, Dan also has a distraction. Lyrics and/or vocals that speak to the mind and music that keeps his heart beating. When Dan put on earbuds, there is no problem, no death,no guilt, just him wanting to feel something, or trying to feel nothing at all.

The distractions worked, putting Dan under a peaceful sleep, and finally letting Phil's mind be peaceful enough to sleep. And as Phil's eyes fluttered shut, he didn't stop them, after all this was the one  and only time he wanted sleep over anime.