Bleeding hearts

Chapter six

It's official ,i have a roommate now 

it's been a week since Em (as she told me to call her )moved in with me ,she's a really sweet girl and i got used to having her around 

i still have the nightmares regularly ,and i still wake up screaming in the middle of the night ,but Em being the nice understanding girl that i got to find out she is never brought the subject up and i'm grateful for that because i'm not ready to talk about it with anyone 

the troubled part about this new development is that Dean is practically living here now ,he's always roaming around the apartment and finding the most opportunities to touch me or corner me and when i snap or ask him to leave he gives me the smirk and say he's here to see his sister. 

i hear the knock on the door then hear voices in the living room and recognize Dean's voice ,Em told me earlier that he's coming with a friend and bringing dinner and i had no reason to say no because now Em is also living here and she can invite whomever she want 

i compose myself and hope i don't get flustered in front of him again then open the door to my room and head to the living room 

i feel him before i see him and it's like he feels the same thing because he turns around when i enter the living room and flashes me his weakening smile 

"Hey gorgeous i brought Pizza "he said then gestured at the guy next him "and my best friend "

i turn my attention to the guy standing next to him and my breath catches in my throat 

it can't be him ,i thought i'll never see him again 

"this is Logan "Dean introduces him and i'm frozen in place as my denial is confirmed wrong 

it is him ,Megan's boyfriend and Chris's best friend .Logan Fiori ,also the guy that left without a word after the accident ,the guy who left me all alone when i needed him the most ,who never answered my calls when i was crying my self in the middle of the night 

"Addison"he looks as shocked as i am as he takes a step closer to me ,looking intently into my eyes like he can't believe it's me 

seeing him here brings all the memories of the  things that i lost and i'm close to crumbling to the floor with tears until i feel strong hands on either side of my face and Dean's face comes clear in front of me 

"Addison look at me "he urged and i focused on his eyes "what's wrong ?are you okay ?"

it's then that i realize that Logan and i are not alone ,there are two people here too that i don't want to see me fall apart 

i compose myself and try my hardest to hide the pain that is shattering my soul in pieces 

"i'm fine "i smile weakly at Dean and take a step back because his touches are not helping at all 

he frowns as he looks between me and Logan"do you know each other ?"

i looked over at him "we went to school together ,that's it "i said and gave Logan my most pleading look so he would understand not to bring anything up 

he narrowed his eyes studying me then he walked toward me and engulfed me in his arms ,i stiffened and felt angry ,because i needed this a long time ago but he wasn't there to give me this comfort ,he chose to run away letting me down with him and i don't know if i'll ever be able to forgive him for it 

"i'm so sorry "he said in my hair ,his voice low so only i can hear 

i pushed away from him "it's good to see you too "i said in a cold voice and walked away back to my room 

i knew i was acting weird in front of Dean and Em but i couldn't stand another minute without falling apart 

behind the closed doors of my room i crumbled to the floor ,hot tears streaming down my face

when i saw him i couldn't stop from waiting for Megan or Chris to step from behind him to surprise me ,and the knot that formed in my stomach when i realized they're gone just like everyone kept telling me after the accident    

i draw my legs up to my chest hugging them ,i buried my head in them and cried because i was never going to fill the void and the emptiness that's inside my heart ,i cried because i'll never have the chance to tell my boyfriend how much i love him and care about him

and now he's gone ,no matter how hard i shout or cry ,he won't hear me anymore .