CHAPTER 33: I'M STILL IN LOVE

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"Are you serious?!" Ellie laughed out loud.

"Yes, and Meredith was just sitting there watching us!"

She exploded into another fit of laughter.

"Ed, I like you. You're the closest thing I've had to Adam in years. Except I think you might be slightly better."

Ellie smiled at me and I started feeling nervous. What if she likes me? What if I start liking her? I pushed these thoughts away and instead thanked her for her nice comment.

We finish off our ice cream and take a bus two blocks down from where I live. We walk the rest of the way, talking about our lives, telling random cat stories, and having a good time. Ellie's really cool. I like her.

We reach my door and stand there looking into sky for awhile.

"Ed?"

"Yea?"

I turn to her and she presses her lips into mine. I don't kiss back but I don't stop her either. A few seconds later, she pulls away.

"You didn't kiss back."

"Ellie, I'm sorry if you got the wrong idea. I-I still love Taylor."

She stands there staring at the ground.

"Ellie-"

"WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?! I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU LED ME ON LIKE THAT!"

"I didn't mean-"

"Do you know how stupid I feel?! You know what? I'm done. Bye Ed."

I'm about to say something else but the words don't come out. What just happened? What do I do now? I walk into my house and lay on the couch thinking about the whole situation. I like Ellie but I'm still deeply in love with Taylor. Nothing will change that. I decide to call Taylor now, I need someone to talk to.

~TAYLOR'S POINT OF VIEW~

I turn on my phone and millions of notifications pop onto the screen.

"Taylor and Ed are over?"

"Ed has a new girlfriend."

"New cutest couple."

I sit up straight on my couch and start going through the pictures and tweets from fans asking about me and Ed. It turns out he went out with Ellie earlier today. For ice cream. Our thing. I can't believe this. Did Ed already move on?

Of course not, he told me he loves me. And he can go out for ice cream with other people, I'm just overreacting. I look at the pictures again and a bit of jealousy comes over me. He looks happy with her- almost as happy as we were. I want to call him and ask about it but I don't want to come off as the "Jealous Girlfriend" type. I'm trying hard not to ruin this relationship. I put my phone down and begin practicing the song I wrote on the plane. I'm performing it in a few days so it has to be perfect. I wrote it for Ed and hopefully he'll be watching.

'Kiss Me' starts playing on my phone and I know it's Ed cuz that's my ringtone for him. I put my guitar down and pick up the phone.

"Hey"

"Hey, Ed!"

"How are you?" He sounded so sad.

"Are you okay? You don't seem well."

"I'm fine," he lied. He's not fine at all.

"You know, I saw those pictures of you and Ellie. Is that what's wrong with you?"

"Taylor, I know that's our thing. I didn't even wanna go. It reminds me too much of you...she sort of made me."

"Oh, then what's wrong?"

"Um....Ellie...she...she sort of-"

"She what, Ed? You know you can be honest with me. We tell each other everything."

I have a feeling he's gonna say, "She kissed me" but I hope and pray that he doesn't.

"She kissed me"

Whale then.

We sat there on opposite lines, neither of us saying a word. I guess he's expecting me to say something.

"Taylor?"

"Huh?"

"Taylor, I didn't kiss her back. I swear."

I didn't say anything. I had a sick feeling in the pit of my stomach.

"Taylor please say something"

"Don't forget to tune in on Wednesday. The event starts at 7:30."

He was silent for a minute. He probably thought I was going to say something actually relevant to the conversation.

"Okay, bye?"

"Bye. I love you."

"I love you, too."

Then I hung up the phone. I was upset but at the same time, I had respect for him. He had the guts to call me and tell me what happened. I love how honest he can be and I'm happy that that hasn't changed since the day we first met. I go back to the day we first met:

****

"Hey, I'm so glad to finally meet you!"

"You too" he said nervously.

"I heard you wanted to work with me and I love your music."

"Thanks, and yea I was hoping we could write together sometime."

"Of course, come in!"

He walks in slowly and I can tell he's tense.

"Are you nervous?" I ask him.

"Um yea, a little bit."

"Don't worry, we don't bite," I say as I pick Meredith up in my arms.

"This is Meredith, say hi Mere!"

"Cool, I love cats!" he says, grabbing Meredith from me.

After that, I can tell he loosened up a bit and it wasn't as awkward as before. We started laughing and telling one another things about ourselves. Hours have passed and we have guitars out playing our favourite songs. He had to leave soon so we just ate some ice cream and talked until one of his friends came to pick him up.

"Bye, Ed."

"Bye, Taylor."

We hugged each other (he's an AMAZING hugger) and he left.

I really like Ed, he's cool. I just wanna know him better now.

****

I smile, thinking back on it all.

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