I dunno what I'm doing, but I'm finding my way.
~ N i a l l ' s P O V ~
I looked at myself in the mirror and grabbed my grey beanie, before exiting my room and walking down stairs. I passed Liam and Louis in the kitchen, and they stopped me.
"Where are you going?" Louis questioned, looking me over.
"Over to Josh's." I answer.
"Our drummer?" Liam asks.
"No, Our Chef." I reply, sarcasm lacing my words.
"OOOOO! KILL 'EM!" Louis shouts, and I glare over at him.
"Ouch Okay, Get going then Niall if you want to be back before dinner. Drive safely, it just snowed again." Liam said, sounding like a worried mother.
"/Mum/, I'll be fine." I say, turning with a smirk on my face, leaving the kitchen and walking over to the front door.
I slip on my black vans, and fish my car keys out of the bowl we leave there. I yell a good-bye, before yanking the front door open, and grabbing a coat as a last thought. I step outside, the crisp December air, filling my lungs, and making my breath come out in little white puffs almost like smoke. The snow crunches beneath my feet, and I quickly make my way over to my Range Rover, and hop in, blasting the heat.
I pull out of the snow white covered drive way, and get onto the interstate, taking off towards Josh's house.
When I pulled into Josh's drive way, I wasn't surprised to hear him banging on his drums up in his studio. I get out of the car, and hustle up to the door, making sure to check under the mat for the spare house key. I unlocked the door, and made sure to tuck the key back under the mat.
I stepped inside the house, closing the door behind me, kicking off my shoes and taking off my jacket.
"JOSH!" I called out, and heard the banging upstairs stop, and heard heavy footsteps coming down the stairs.
"NIALL!" He called out, and tackled me into a hug.
I wrapped my arms around his neck, as his arms enclosed around my waist. I nuzzled my face in his neck, and almost broke down crying. When I started shaking, he knew something was up, and guided me towards the couch.
"What's wrong?" He asks, running his fingers through my hair.
"There's a lot.." I mumbled.
"We have all night, so start talking." he said, and I took a deep breath and explained.
"And that's what happened...." I said softly, dried tear marks down my face.
I had told Josh everything; From the self harm, to Zayn, to me making a mistake, to Zayn yelling at me, to me getting help. Josh was distraught, but held me while I blabbed my whole past two months to him. When I was done talking, he stayed quieted for a good five minutes.
"Why?" He asked softly.
"Why what?" I ask him back.
"Why the self harm?" He asks, running his thumb over my fore arm.
I sigh softly, "Everyone has different coping skills, everyone has different breaking points. I couldn't handle the hate like the boys could, and I felt like they didn't get as much as I did, so it became an addiction. Like drumming for you, how you have to tap your feet, or at least going over everything in your mind. Or like crack for a crack-addict." I explained, and he nodded his head.
"Oh shit! It's late-"
"You are staying here tonight. Liam will understand, he wouldn't want you driving home in this weather, and it's dark outside." Josh says, and I nod my head.
"Want something to eat? I think I have enough for a sandwich." He asks.
"Sure, lets go see." I say, and we rise up and stumble into the kitchen.
He looks in the fridge for bread and jam, and I look in the pantry for peanut butter. I found the peanut butter, and grabbed a bag of chips making my way back over to him. He smiled sweetly at me, and took the peanut spread, leaving the bag of chips with me. I opened them, and shoved a bunch into my mouth, my taste buds doing a little dance when the salty fried potato touched them. Josh chuckled at me, and I rolled my eyes at him.
"Go turn on FIFA, I'll be up in a second." He says, and I go up to his bedroom, turning on the light, and not minding the mess.
I push a pile of clothes out of the way, plopping myself down on the floor, and turning on his x-box. I grabbed a controller, and set up the game. About half way through set up, he came up, and plopped himself down next to me, grabbing a controller, and turning it on. I took a big bite of the sandwich, some of the peanut butter falling out, and onto my shirt.
Josh chuckled softly, before leaning over to wipe his finger across, getting it on his finger and putting it to his lips. He smiled, and we started leaning towards each other, eyes fluttering close.
Like I said, getting that text from him might change my life, and for the better.
A/N; Who likes the album? IT'S SO ROCK N' ROLL I SWEAR, IT'S THE DEATH OF ME.
I gave this chapter to you guys, since a lot where asking for it. I lowered how many reads I request, and from now on, they are going to go up. I AM NOT GOING TO UPDATE, UNTIL GOALS ARE REACHED.
Goals;
35 reads
15 votes
10 comments
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Save me // ziall ✓
FanfictionCuts raced up and down his arms, over more scars caused by a razor. As he lied on his bathroom floor, the blood dripping off his arm, painting a picture on the floor. He got to his feet; slowly and trying not to make a noise. He had relapsed, and ha...
