Save me // ziall ✓

| Chapter Eleven |

What happened to bulletproof weeks in your arms?

~ N i a l l ' s  p o v~

I couldn't just sit here anymore, while he functioned perfectly fine. He completely cut me off, and left me in the dust. I rose from my window seat, that over looked the wooden forest. I picked up my wallet, phone, car keys, and a heavy jumper. It was near the mild of December, and it had snowed the night before. I slip on my black vans, that sat near the front door. I produced to walk out the front door without saying anything to anyone.

I knew where I was going, and I needed mental help. I sighed softly, as I pulled into the shrink parking lot. I got out of my warm car, and jogged across the parking lot, dreading every step I took. The boys should be proud, that I'm finally getting mental help, that maybe I'll stop hurting myself. That maybe I'll become myself again.

I push open the door, and the lady sitting behind the desk, looks up and smiles softly. I walk over to the desk, "Name?"

"Niall Horan." I reply softly, and she nods. "Listen, can we keep this all a secret? I don't want anyone knowing, and I'll pay you guys anything to keep quiet."

"Don't worry Mr.Horan, we don't work like that. Every record here is shut tightly here. We want to help you. Please take a seat, someone will be with you shortly." She said nicely, and I sat myself down in the cold hard chairs.

A rather pretty lady, with curly auburn hair, deep brown eyes, stepped out into the waiting room, with a notebook in her hand.

"Niall Horan?" She called out, in a sweet American accent.

Hmmm, not from around here, that's unusual. I thought, as I stood, and walked over to her.

She smiled warmly, extending her hand, "Hello, I'm Leah. Follow me into the back please?" She asked, once I had shook her hand.

It was clear that Leah was one of the nicest people here. But are shrinks supposed to be filled with nice warm persona? People who actually care? She lead me back into a room, that had a table and two chairs, one on each side.

"Please take a seat Niall." She said softly, closing the door behind me.

She could tell that I felt weird, "Don't worry, the walls are sound proof. No one can hear in, only we can hear out. Incase of a fire and what not."

"So no one but you can hear me right now?"

"Correct."

"So when the paps have this in articles, I can blame you?" I asked.

She sighed softly, "Look Niall, they mostly likely only have pictures off you walking in here. You can say that you where here to see someone, or came to met a fan, they won't guess that you are here for /you/."

"I know, but I'm scared."

"Of what Niall?" She asked, with her eye brows raised.

"I'm afraid of being judged, that I couldn't handle the hate, That I-" I said and yanked up both sleeves, "Do this to myself."

She stayed silent for a moment, "But It's the way you cope with things. They won't judge you on that."

"But they think I have it perfect-"

"Then explain to you that you don't." She cut me off.

"Look Niall, I'm not going to put you on meds or anything, you don't need it. But I do want you to keep a journal or a diary or just write your thoughts out. We will meet once a week, for an hour, or how ever I see fit. You just need someone to vent to." She said, writing it down on a piece of paper. "That's how it works with a lot of people. They keep everything bottled up, and don't talk to anyone. But I'm here for you."

"Thank you so much Leah."

"It's my pleasure Niall. Now get home safely, it's supposed to snow today." She warned, but before I left, I made sure to give her a hug.

I drove home in silence, thinking over everything she said. I just need someone to vent to. Yeah, that sounds right. My new journal sat on the seat next to me, and I was going to keep it hidden from the boys. I pulled into the snow covered drive way, and turn off the car. I sit in the car for a few more minutes, since it's freezing outside and my car is warm. I was able to muster up enough energy to get out of the car, and walk to the door with out anyone or anything popping out at me.

I climb the steps to our front door, and slide my key in the slit. I turn towards the left, and the door unlocks. I turn the door nob, and show myself inside, smelling something wonderful. I kick off my shoes, and pad into the kitchen, to smell something like chocolate chip cookies.

Liam turns around and smiles softly, "Hey Ni, where'd ya go?"

"I went over to a friend's house." I lied.

Hey what they don't know won't kill them right?

"Oh, okay. The cookies are almost done." he answered the question in my mind.

"Oh Leeyum, you know me so well." I say, skipping over and pecking him on his cheek.

"Eww.." he giggled softly, wiping the kiss off his cheek.

I fake pouted, and stole some cookie dough, before I ran off, knowing Liam would have corrected me. I went upstairs to my room, and felt my phone vibrate. It was Josh.

From- Joshie-boo

Hey Ni, long time, no talk. Wanna hang later?

To Joshie-boo

Totally, lets say 4ish?

Not even a minute later, I got a reply.

From Joshie-boo

Totally. Come on over to my place. See you soon :)

Little did I know, this would only change my world even more, and maybe not for the better.

A/N; PLOT TWIST. Okay, I have a friend making the trailer, and by tomorrow I think I should have one, and I'm really happy about it, because I throw in Josh, and I didn't even mean too, and I thought I should update another one tonight and write in Josh.

You all are going to want to kill me during the next few chapters....well...maybe. But Niall finally got help! That's good. Leah is based off of me....expect my name is Emily, not Leah. Oh and I'm going to start setting goals.

So-

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PS two updates in one night? Yeah I had to write this next chapter.