Him

Chapter 8: How many?

I stared out the window as my ice cream melted and I could hear Michaels voice faintly in the background. My mind was wandering again, and all I could think about was Sam... the kiss, everything. I could hear my name being called... it was Sam's voice. "Nina, Niana, NI.." The voice trailed off and I could feel Michael tugging at my sleeves. "Nina?" It was Michaels voice now.

"Huh? Im sorry... just drifted off I guess.." Michael just stared at me. "Nina what's wrong? You seem distant lately" I wanted to cry... I wanted to scream at him at his words. How many times had I screamed and cried the same words about him to Alyssa... How many times have I said he was different and that he was different. How many times have I cried over Michael...how many?

I smiled at him and laughed it off as I ate my Ice cream. "Im good Michael...just tired." I saw Michaels eyes trail off of me and stare somewhere else "Michael?" I turned around and saw Sam walk into the ice cream parlor... he wasn't alone. There stood beautiful Jenna. Everything about her screamed perfection. With mocha skin and short curly black hair that reached just above her shoulders, she was the perfect hour glass shape and she reached 5'6. She was everything I wasn't. She was beautiful.

Jenna laughed at something Sam had said and I wanted to look away... but I couldn't. Why wasn't that me? It was a selfish thought...but its all I could think about. "Nina?!" I turned around and saw Michael staring at me a bit irritated. "Im sorry Michael..."

"What does everyone see in Sam anyway?" Michael scoffs and takes another bite of his ice cream. "He's average looking, he's not all that...like he doesn't even lift" He rolls his eyes. I begin to feel my blood boil. "He doesn't lift because his body is naturally fit." I was passive aggressive but I didn't care at this point. Michael dropped his spoon and wiped his hands clearly annoyed with me.

"What does he have that I don't? Or what does he have better than me? Nothing. Nothing Nina." Michael sounded as if he was getting angry. "Well his ego isn't inflated for one..." I had no filter, I didn't worry about the consequences... all the possibilities meant nothing. They never did when it came to Sam. I could see my shield being built around me...not the one that stops me from making decisions... but a new one that protects me from all the hurtful things Michael could say...no one could hurt me worse than Michael.

"At least I have some self esteem unlike some people I know... who needs to be told every day that someone gives a fuck about her. At least I don't need someone to make me happy. I don't need to hear how "Amazing" I am from someone who doesn't mean shit they're saying." Michaels voice gets louder and louder. Suddenly everyone in the parlor has their eyes on us.

"Im not some ungrateful hormonal bitch who cant even say thank you to the popular guy whos with her. YOU SHOULD BE THANKING ME THAT IM WITH YOU... THAT I TOOK PITY ON YOU!" My eyes began to water and burn. I could feel my face turn red... I could see Sam in the corner of my eye... he was holding Jenna and watching me. I could feel the tears begin to pour down it was too much to handle.

In a whisper I said "Well fuck you Michael... I don't need your sympathy... we're done." I walk out passing Sam and smacking as hard as I can against his shoulder. Jenna walked in front of him and checked his shoulder as he rubbed it. "Are you ok?" She asked concerned. Sam watched me as I ran off. "Im ok... are you?" he asked turning his attention back to Jenna.

Today was not okay. Seeing Sam with Jenna set me off... then what Michael said to me... My whole life felt like a mess and it was a nightmare... I couldn't escape no matter how hard I tried.

My phone buzzed and I took a peek to see Sams name appear. I toss my phone half way across the room in anger. "That wasn't very nice." I heard a voice and I quickly turn around. I see Sam standing there with his hand rubbing the area I hit.

"How'd you get in?!" I shout. "Your mom let me in..."
I turn away from him and stare at the wall as I lay holding my pillow.

"Nina why are you even mad at me?" I begin to remember that why I was mad at him wasn't a valid excuse. I just ignore him...I hope he doesn't ask me again. "Nina...why?" I sigh loudly. "Its not a big deal." Sam sits next to me and starts stroking my hair. "Nina... im sorry for what Michael said...its not true. You are independent, amazing, sweet, and so confident... Lovely you are so perfect and some douche bag like Michael shouldn't put you down. Hes not as big a hotshot as he thinks he is."

"What he said isn't what hurt me the most..." I said cautiously.

Sam looked at me with pure confusion.

I pull myself up and look at him, my eyes still a bit puffy from crying. I took a deep a breath in and let it all out.

"Jenna..."

Sams face dropped and his expression was sadness. "Im sorry... you're with Michael and im just so lonely Nina...I needed someone and Jenna was there... she helped me." I hold back th tears from coming back... "after everything shes done to you" I ask. "I asked you the same about Michael." Sam fired back. He was right... Sam was right.

How many times has Sam been right? Most times... Why didn't I break up with Michael before...

Sam... that's why...