Him

Chapter 13: What do you say?

School on Monday was worse than usual. Everyones eyes were locked on me as I walked down the hallway. What were they looking at? Maybe they were still caught up on what happened at the ice cream parlor...

"Hey!" Sam said as he caught up with me in the hallway. "What's up?" I thought for a minute only to shake the feeling off. "Nothing much just avoiding people's staring, you?" He but his lip and I felt chills run down my spine. "Same, I feel like everyone's looking at me." Just then I saw Jenna walk past me, it wasn't just Jenna though. She was holding someone's hand. Michael.

My heart stopped and I dropped all of my books. Sam turned to see what had me spooked, and soon enough Sams face was a face of confusion. He snapped out of it and looked at me griping my shoulders. "Hey, what's wrong?" He asked. I looked up into his eyes trying to hide the tears forming in mine. "Michael doesn't even like Jenna, Sam. Why's he even talking to her much less holding her hand?" Sam gave me a sympathetic look and sighed. "Maybe he just said that so you wouldn't worry at the time? Jenna is a pretty cool person, sports, intellect and she's attrac-" I cut Sam off and walked away. My mind filled with petty thoughts that shouldn't have been a problem.

"Cheerleading isn't a sport" I thought annoyed. "She's not even that smart, she's not ranked number one in our class" I continued to wrongly criticize her. But why was this such a big deal? I wondered. I'm not jealous of her, well, not with Michael I'm not. I was just shocked. Then why did I walk away? Sam. That's why. Because he was telling me what was so perfect about her. I'm not like Jenna. I didn't play any sports, I wasn't too pretty, and I wasn't that smart. I was an average person.
"Hey! Nina!" I turned around quickly to see Alyssa running up to me with a smile. "Where have you been! God I was so worried, didn't you get any of my texts!" I said with a sigh of relief, wrapping my arms around her tightly. "You can't just leave like that Alyssa!" I smacked her arm as she laughed. "But Nina! I met this guy!" I laughed and looked at her with an eye roll. "Spill it." I said looking at her exasperated.

"Well... I met this guy right?" I nod my head in acknowledgement. "He was so cute, no he was fucking hot! Anyways, so we talked a bit drank a bit-" I stopped her mid sentence, "ALYSSA YOU DID WHA-" Alyssa covered my mouth shushing me, asking me to be a little quieter. "You did what?!" I whisper shout at her. "I just had a couple of shots, no biggie" I throw my hands up dramatically ready to leave when Alyssa began to talk again. "Well I went with him back to his place-"  I looked down. "Alyssa how old is he?" "I don't know, 22?"  I sighed heavily and just looked at her. "Yeah so we went back to his place and we were just kissing at first... then..." "THEN WHAT!" I ask loudly. Alyssa covers my mouth once more and whispers. "Then... we..." I looked at her ready to know. "Weeeeee what?" I asked. "We had sex..." my face turned red and I swallowed hard. "Alyssa you lost your virginity to a guy you just met?... that's not like you..." I could see her think for a minute. "Well its senior year... lets do something crazy for once. Not to mention, he's taking me out tonight on a real date." I rolled my eyes. "You sound like you belong in Grease. Oh dear god I'm friends with a Rizzo." Alyssa punches my arm and rolls her eyes. "Well what about you Little miss Sandra Dee? What did you do last night?" I thought for a minute and all I could remember was that one flashback... nothing else. "Well nothing interesting I can assure you. I danced with Sam and we went home. Simple as that" "Mmm hmm" Alyssa rolled her eyes again. "What? You don't believe me?" She smirks. "Come on sandy, with Danny, y'all never do just nothing."
"I have a name Alyssa, hi I'm Nina." "You compared me to rizzo, so it's only fair. You started the Grease references." She wasn't wrong.

"What's his name? Where's he from? What's his job?" Alyssa began to tap her foot against the floor annoyed. "Nina stop. His name is Jake, he's from here, he works at some office. I don't know. Stop being a mom." I backed off. "So where's lover boy... I mean, Sam." "Ha ha you're so funny, I almost forgot how to laugh. He's... I don't know. I walked away." Alyssa tilted her head in confusion. "I saw Jenna and Michael, then Sam started talking about how perfect she was and it was all too much and I had to leave and clear my head. I don't know why it effected me as much as it did. It shouldn't have really... I don't know. I'm just so confused." Alyssa squinted her eyes and focused on on me. "Nina" "yes?" "You're more annoyed that he was complimenting her more than anything else. You were also annoyed because you think Michael lied to you about thinking Jenna wasn't what he wanted so on so forth. You feel betrayed. That's understandable, maybe you should talk to Sam about it. He's reasonable." Alyssa wasn't wrong. I just didn't want to hear it. It did annoy me that he lied and it annoyed me to know end that Sam was complimenting Jenna even after all the shit she put him through. But it felt wrong to feel this way. I was always told that feelings are feelings and we can't change them. But what happens when those petty feelings begin to interrupt your life and others lives? You can't just expect them all to accept it as if nothing was wrong or going on. You have to push the feeling aside. I have to push the feelings aside. "You're not wrong Alyssa, I won't even fight it." "I know" she says with a sympathetic look.
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Physics was bad and I'm not taking "I spilled coffee on my shirt" bad, I'm talking "I just straightened my hair and put on new clothes then it stared raining coffee as soon as I stepped outside", bad. Mr. Bates paired us with people for a project and I of course got Sam. No matter how much I begged and pleaded with Mr. Bates, he wouldn't change his mine, I was as bound to Sam.

I sat at the libraries study table in the back of the room cut off from the rest of the library. Private, peaceful and quiet. "Hey" Sam said with a smile as he sat down next to me at the table, dropping his heavy backpack to the floor making a loud thumping noise. Sams face lit up redder than Valentine's Day and smiled awkwardly. "Sorry."
"You're good, let's just get working." I flipped some pages in my Physics Textbook and began to read.
"Are you ignoring me?" Sam asked innocently. Almost too innocently.
"No I've just been busy. Lots of studying and I'm tired."
"I've texted you like 5 times and you read them, you just haven't replied. I guess I kind of got worried. I'm overreacting aren't I? I'm sorry" I sighed and tried to ignore his constant apologizing and focused on my paper. "Ok yeah you're mad at me. Nina I may be dumb but I'm not stupid." I laughed unwillingly. "Aaahhh! Gotcha to smile" a smile spread across his face and he lifted my chin up so I could see him. His blue eyes were shining brightly as usual. But it was something more, it was with a genuine smile that I couldn't help but almost lean in to kiss. But I stopped realizing what I was about to do. "Ahem, we need to study." Sams face dropped into a semi frown. "Nina what did I do? You're mad at me and I don't even know what I did wrong?" I kept working, ignoring his efforts to chit chat. "Nina!" He pulled me close so that our faces were barely touching. His grip tight on my shirt and my arms. I swallowed hard. "What?" I asked cautiously. "Can't you just talk to me, if you tell me how you're feeling, we can work it out. It's better to just communicate rather than going in pointless, very pointless circles"

I rolled my eyes and pulled away. "It's not like you could relate to what my problem is. You don't know what it's like to like someone so much and have them talk about their ex or some other girl like she's a God."
I could see Sam think for a moment then look at me in realization. "Is this about Jenna? Really Nina? She's just a part of my past. She's not a queen." I bit my lip and I could feel tears form in my eyes as I turned away. "She's perfect Sam... I can't help but com..." I trailed off realizing how stupid I sounded. "Comparing?" He asked.
I peeked up at him and nodded my head slowly. "Y...yes." I could feel the shame consume me. I sounded so insecure and so stupid. I felt so open.

"Nina, listen to me. You don't have to compare yourself to her. What she an I had was the past. Let's move forward. I'm completely focused on you. One hundred percent." I shook my head. "I don't believe you. I don't want you to focus on me." I said.

"Well if Nina doesn't want to listen to me and my proof, then I guess my girlfriend might have to."

I sat there frozen. Was Sam asking me? I couldn't really tell if he was informing me or asking. "Pardon?..." I asked unsure.

"Nina, be my girlfriend. Let me show you that you're different to me. If you don't like it after a month, we can call quits and remain friends. If we like it... then we can continue. It's like a test. Let's see what it's like to have a real title where I can do this-" Sam leans in and presses his warm soft lips against mine and kisses me softly, he holds the side of my face caressing it carefully running his thumb back and forth across my cheek before pulling away slowly.
"What do you say?"