Why? //Divergent// Eric X OC

Chapter 41- One last look

I am sleeping when someone shakes me. I sit up and see that it is only tris. I don't meet her eyes directly but I can tell she's staring. Without saying anything I walk to the bathroom with some clothes in hand. I lock the bathroom door and begin to change my clothes. I get out of my loose amity pyjamas and into some tight dauntless clothes. When I got here yesterday Johanna went through the terms of us staying here, Wearing the right clothes and acting like an amity were one of them, but I am an exception today. I decide to put on zero makeup and I tie my hair back in a pony tail.

I take a look in the mirror. This isn't me, the girl staring back at me is a completely different person. She has tired eyes and a permanent frown. She looks worn out and full of grief. She looks lost. I'm sixteen years old, I should be getting excited for my life, but that's not a possibility. Even if Eric was still here, I would be having..... that's not important right now. I just walk out of the bathroom and sit on my cot.

I begin to lace up my combat boots when tris sits down beside me. "Hey" she says and I just try my best to smile at her but don't succeed. "You'll need this" she hands me a notebook and pen as I stand up. I almost back away but I just look to her. "I can't" is all I manage. "You have to" she says and I nod, taking the notebook and pen and putting them in a black backpack. As I walk out the door four says kind things to me, easy for him to be so happy. He lost absolutely nothing. I don't respond and spam the door on my way out. In the hall I see Peter, probably the only person I can bare right now. He doesn't ask how I am because he knows it's a foolish question.

"Do you want me to walk you out?" He asks and I nod. We begin to make our way out of our living quarters and down a pathway. People who pass smile and greet and one of our conditions for staying here was be an amity. I smile a little or at least I try to. Once we reach the edge of the faction and are inside of the wall, Peter looks at me. "I'll come with you if you want" he says and I shake my head, I have to do this on my own.

I see the train in sight and begin to sprint, I arrive at the train and leap in, haven't done that in a while. The rush of adrenaline plants a little smile on my face for all of two seconds before I am back to reality. I sit here and wait u til the dauntless compound comes into sight. I jump from the train and land on my two feet on the rooftop. I slowly make my way over to the other side of the roof and as soon as I touch the wall a flashback occurs.

"Ok listen up everyone. I'm Eric, a leader here at dauntless. You want in, you jump" "so who's first?" He continued and me and Uriah both stepped forward. "Me" I say. "No me" we did that for a while until I gave in. "Fine you" I said pushing him over the edge. I looked to Eric who obviously wanted me to jump, so I got up on the wall and did a backflip off of it, I will never know what he actually thought about that.

A tear falls down my cheek but I brush it off. I stand up on the wall and in memory of him I stand up on the wall and whisper "this ones for you" before backflipping off of the wall and landing in the net. Once I realise no one is there to get me out of the net I crawl off of it and begin to walk down the hallways of dauntless. It's so weird it being so quiet. I head down a hallway or two and straight to the apartment. I don't look around, too much too soon. I just go into the closet. I grab some clothes and Eric's hoodie. I walk out of the apartment and decide to go up to Eric's old apartment before I leave.

I head inside and sit on the couch, looking around. A single tear slips down my cheek. This must be where he spent his last night. Where else would he have went. Just as I'm leaving I see a scrunched up piece of paper on the table. I pick it up and open it.

Dear Ro, if you are reading this it means that I didn't make it... I just want you to know I love you and I need you to know this. Jeanine injected me with a serum. I'm not able to control myself and I would've protected you if I could've. I love you rosanna pedrad. You made me a better person. You changed me. I have left another note, here's a hint.