Code Black (N.S)

33.

Niall's POV

I felt my eyes flutter closed as soon as our lips made contact. It felt better than how I had imagined his lips to feel. His lips were warm and rather soft, yet they were rough enough to know that I was kissing a boy. These were the lips that I had been dreaming of kissing for what felt like forever, when in reality it was only a few months.

It wasn't perfect, particularly since I had never kissed anyone before and didn't how to actually kiss. I barely even moved my lips, instead just gently pressing them against his. I had no idea if the incredible feeling I had was because I was kissing Harry, or because I was kissing someone in general but I didn't care.

Then I realised, I had just kissed Harry Styles. Possibly the straightest person I knew. It wasn't only that, it was the fact that he wasn't kissing me back.

As soon as I realised this, I pulled away, not liking the sudden coldness I felt when I could no longer feel his lips. I felt a little embarrassed. I had most likely made him uncomfortable and I wasn't sure how he was going to react. 

"I'm so sorry. I-I can't believe I just did that," I said quickly and moved away from him. "A-and now you hate me. I get it. You don't want to be hanging out with a freak. I-I can't believe I just gave my first kiss to you," I continued, voice coming out shaky.

He was silent as the words poured out of my mouth and I didn't know why. His silence seemed to make me a little uneasy, so I hesitantly looked up at him, expecting to see some look of hostility or disgust but that wasn't the case at all.

His green eyes were wide in shock, he had a hint of a smile on his face and his eyes seemed to be sparkling.

"Why would I hate you?" he let out, frowning.

I looked at him with a shocked expression, still trying to process why he hadn't told me off for kissing him, as I was expecting as soon as I pulled away from him.

"I kissed you. Y-you're straight and I just made things awkward," I stuttered out. 

Much to my confusion, he started to laugh. It was soft, his eyes staring at me fondly and a large grin on his face, his dimples appearing.

"Niall, I don't hate you. I would never hate you and honestly? I wanted that kiss just as much as you did, which shows just how straight I am," he admitted.

"But you didn't kiss me back," I murmured shakily.

He let out a sigh, running a hand through his messy and windswept hair.

"I was surprised. If I'm honest, I didn't think you would ever kiss me. I thought that if we ever kissed, it would be because I wanted to kiss you," he said, giving me a sheepish smile.

I was expecting a lot of things, but nothing like this. I thought that it was a one sided thing, like I was the only one that had looked at the other in such a loving way. I was wrong, apparently he wanted that kiss too.

"A-am I just some sort of an experiment for you?"

"God no, Niall. I would never take advantage of you like that," he said reassuringly, seemingly shocked at the mere thought of using me. 

"So...you like me?" I asked, feeling unsure. Saying the words seemed foreign, almost completely wrong. We weren't exactly the ideal type of relationship. 

"Of course I like you. I wouldn't want to kiss you for any other reason, especially now that I know that I was your first kiss. I don't know why you would want to kiss me after everything that I have done to you but I'm incredibly grateful," he said, looking at the ground.