Heal Me (Wattys 2017)

Chapter 18: I Don't Believe In Love

Boys are stupid. That's what I've learned the past couple days. They'll break your heart like it's a stick on the ground they didn't see. Or give you hope when there was no hope to be given in the first place.

I don't know what to think about Dean right now. How could he want to be with me but can break my heart so easily like it's just a glass vase that meant nothing to him? My heart yearns for him but if he can throw me aside so fast is the pain worth it in the end?

"As soon as he walks through that door I'm going to kill him." AJ snarls under her breath.

"No you're not."

"I wouldn't doubt her Winnie." Neville tells me.

"I'm not doubting her. I know she would kill him. I'm telling her not too."

"I don't take orders from peasants." She smirks at me before averting her attention back to the door.

"Fuck off you midget!" I hiss back at her. She turns to scoff at me as someone walks into catering. When she sees who it is I have no time to stop the next three words that come out of her mouth.

"DEAN FUCKING AMBROSE!"

Do I want to dig a whole six feet under and die? At this moment that's exactly what I want to do. I've never felt such a level of embarrassment in my entire life.

The whole locker room turns to look at AJ then over to Dean, then back to AJ. To make this matter even worse, she's standing on top of a chair giving him the meanest look I've ever seen her give someone.

"Hold on! Let me go get some popcorn. I'll be right back!" Heath Slater shouts then hurries out of the room. I roll my eyes putting my head in my hands.

"You're a hypocrit you know that? How dare you break Winnie's heart then get extremely upset when Bray mentions you still like her. She's already dealing with enough shit! So how about you either try to get her back or go back to banging five girls a night!" I have no clue when AJ decided it would be a good idea to let everyone in catering know what she was thinking. I can feel my face heating up from embarrasment.

Dean looks away from AJ then rests his eyes on me. He looks like shit and it's not because he just had a matched. The bags under his eyes are so dark it looks like he failed at putting eyeliner on.

"Can we talk?" Dean asks. He sounds absolutely exhausted and it breaks my heart a little. Part of me wants to say no but I nod anyways. I have feelings for this man that I've never felt before. I can't just ignore him like he's nonexistent.

"Hell to the fucking no!" AJ shouts, pushing me back down in my seat.

"AJ, you just told him to try and get me back or fuck off. I'm pretty sure he has to talk to me so it can help him decide what to do." I whisper yell at her. She looks at me then at Dean then back at me then back at Dean.

"You don't want to know what I'm capable of, Ambrose." She hisses at him before walking away.

Oh, AJ.

Heath bursts through the doors with a big bowl of popcorn right as AJ walks out. He looks around at all the shocked faces realizing he just missed all the action.

"Oh come on! Why do I always miss the drama!" He pouts, shoving a fistful of popcorn in his mouth.

Dean looks at me then looks at the door and back at me before walking towards the door. I take it as my sign to follow him. He leads us through several corridors before stoping abruptly, turning towards me.

"Look-" Dean starts but I interrupt him.

"Stop. Just stop. You're just going to apologize for breaking up with me then give me hope of us getting back together when there's no fucking hope. I came to this company to pursue my dream of becoming the women's champion without anything getting in my way. But that didn't happen because someone did get in the way and that someone was YOU!"

"You can't blame me for falling in love with you, Winnie!" He shouts then turns away from me realizing what just left his mouth.

He said it.

That word. That word that many people look for yet cower away from once they hear it.

"No, no you don't. You can't love someone you've only known for three months." I mumble. I think I'm telling myself this more than I'm telling Dean.

"Oh, really? That what is this fucking indescribable feeling I have for you, Winnie? I can't fucking sleep at night because I can only think about how I screwed this up!" My first impression is to think he's lying but the look in his eye says otherwise.

"Dean, I'm not saying I don't believe you. I'm saying this because I don't believe in love. My father supposedly loved my mother then killed her. How am I suppose to believe in love after that?" 

Dean steps towards me taking both my hands in his. He looks down into my eyes and lays his forehead against mine.

"Then let me show you it's real. Let me make you believe you can love someone. Just give me another chance and I can show you what love really is."

My mind is all over the place. I can tell Dean is serious about wanting to show me what love is. Not what I've grown up to believe. But how can I go back to someone that can so easily take me out of their life? What if Dean decides to break up with me again for no reason? What do I do then?

"Dean, I-" I'm interrupted by a frantic Roman running up to us at full speed. I pull away from Dean getting a hurt look from him.

"Roman, what's wrong?" I ask him. He takes a couple seconds to catch his breath before pulling a piece of paper out of his pocket.

"One of the security guards said some guy wanted this to be given to you. He said that you were expecting it." Roman holds out the paper towards me.

"No, no I'm not." I hesitantly take the piece of paper from Roman. I unfold it and immediately recognize the hand writing.

Day 1: I'll be in plain sight.
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A little twist to end the chapter. How exciting! So a lot of you guys are pissed at me for making Dean and Winnie break up. Look, not every relationship is going to be perfect. What's the point in writing this book if they're relationship is like a fairytale?

Anyways, I haven't updated in a long time but no, I'm not sorry. I've been so busy with marching band and school since July that I'm finally being inspired to write again. I'd rather wait months before updating than update a shitty chapter each week. So, I hope you like this chapter! Please vote and maybe leave a comment. Also, if you don't follow me please do so! I'd like to get to 500 followers by the new year!