Memories my aunt left behind

"Annie"

Annie as she was affectionately called was a sweet gem indeed. She loved to go out on the town and enjoy herself whether it would be with her family, friends or just by herself. Her favorite thing to do with me was watch movies. 

 I remember taking this picture like it was yesterday. My Aunt came to me and said "shante lets go to the movies" and at first I thought she was just kidding because that was the type of person she was so I said "man Annie you lying" and she was like "I'm serious".

All my Aunt had to say was Shante lets go to the movies or let's go somewhere and I would always be down for it except for when she wanted me to go in the shop. That night it was originally suppose to be just me and her but it so happens that my 2 other cousins also wanted to tag along. After picking them up from home we went to the movies and watched 'Good Deeds' a Tyler Perry film. It was really good; it was a first time in a really long time she really enjoyed herself. I remember she use to tell me how after work she would just go to the movies and enjoy herself .

She would always tell me how she never got to do anything for herself anymore. Even down to just going shopping for herself , she never had the chance to anymore. To my Aunt, her family would always come first in her eyes. If I told you that on her sick bed she stopped checking I would be lying. Even after she fell ill, Auntie still thought about her family. Her family was still #1 in her eyes and will always be #1. I remember one day she was lying down in bed and we were having a regular old conversation and I said out loud " I hope Grammy was able to get what she needed from the store" then my Aunt had said " why you say that? she asked lisa huh?" (Lisa is my mom) and I said yea but mommy told her she couldn't come because she was getting ready to cook Sunday dinner. Even though Auntie was sick she said " I wish I could've carried Bloomie to the store" (Bloomie is my Grammy, Annie eldest sister). I was like wow Auntie even though you're not feeling well you still wanna do things for others. Auntie had a heart of gold when it came down to anyone and even though she might've had her ways, whenever one of us would call on her she would always drop whatever she was doing to deal with us. I admired her because she was the type of person I always dreamt of becoming. I'm far from being the person she wanted me to become but I promise on my last breath, I will accomplish everything and be the best I can for her, my angel.

God have a way of sometimes calming the storm, or he'll let the storm rage and calm his child. In my Aunt's case he let the storm rage and calmed his child. I promise I won't question God's will because I know he did what was best for her. One thing I can say is my Aunt never questioned God and his work. She would always say My God won't give me more than I can handle and she was right. I guess he knew she couldn't handle any more stress and pain so he carried her home. Without her my light is dim, without her my sky is gray, without her my walls have closed in on me. How can I go on in life without her by my side. My queen will indeed be missed, always and forever.
After my Aunt died it has been raining ever since and I questioned it every day. I did my research and to my surprise there was also someone like me that thought it actually means something. There's a myth saying: after someone dies and it rains, it means that the person soul was good and it's ascending into heaven. There's another myth that said: if it rains the day of the burial it means that the deceased will go to heaven and if you hear a clap of thunder following a burial it means that the deceased has reached heaven. I want to believe in these myths because she was a good person ; however I can not swear for anyone, not even myself.

Revelation 14:13 clearly says: then I heard a voice from heaven say "write this: Blessed are the dead who die in the Lord from now on." "Yes," says the spirit" "they will rest from their labor, for their deeds will follow them".
I know the type of person my Aunt was and she was a very sweet, caring and generous woman. Anyone who came in contact with her could speak highly of her. It's sad to know that homeless people can eat out of trash cans and off the street, and even out the mouth of others but they never get sick. Then we have people who are taking care of their self, eating healthy and all of these other good things yet they die in the blink of an eye. It's a sad thing indeed but dare ye not question the will of the Lord.
My God is not a God of confusion so I know he wasn't confused when he carried her home. He was indeed ready to decorate his garden so he lifted up the most beautiful rose and placed her in his garden.
I remember my Aunt always told me to to publish my poetry but I was caught up on other stuff. Wow I really miss her and it hurts more and more everyday when I think about it. I actually thought the saying 'time heal all wounds' was a great saying and that it actually works but time can never heal my wounded heart. Years would pass and I could never get over her because she wasn't just an aunt to me, she was my motivator, my strength, most of all she was my biggest supporter. I wish I knew that she was about to leave me sooner than I thought; all of the signs that she left behind sure added up, we were just too dumb to catch on to it. She was such an independent women that she wanted to fight all on her own. I can't be mad with her though because the damage is already done, the only thing I can do now is love her more and more every day.
While writing this chapter, I often find myself directing my sentences to her as if this book is for her to read only. I guess you can say that it'll take more than time to heal this wound.