Not What I Expected (A Marcel Fanfic)

Chapter 22

I lay in bed, replaying everything that happened today. The diner, the beach, the italian restaurant... It was all awesome. We shared pasta and tried doing that cute thing like they do in movies, where each one had an end and would suck it until their lips met, but we failed and put tomato sauce all over our faces. Although my stomach was hurting, my face was red and the whole restaurant was looking at our obnoxious selves, I couldn't help but stare at how beautiful his laugh it. I will have to record it one day and replay it whenever I have a bad day. He walked me home after we ate becaue I insisted, and when he took my hand I realized just how warm he always is, unlike me who is mostly cold. Like some kind of lizard. And then before he left, he kissed me, but without tongue. He kisses so wonderfully.

Alexa knocks on my door and I let out a weird noise to let her know she can come in. Yes, we communicate with weird noises somehow.

"Am I interrupting?" she asks, entering my room and closing the door behind her, so it's dark again.

"My thoughts? Yes. Me? No." I answer calmly. She hesitates for a moment.

"So I can stay right?" I decide against smacking my forehead, remembring the fact I lose five neurons each time I do.

"Yes." I sigh. I really really wanted to make another sarcastic and implicit comment, but the poor girl will never get the idea.

"So... what position did you use?'' Alexa asks without filter and I immediately slap her arm.

"How did you even know we had sex last night?''

''You just confirmed it.'' she retorts. Clever one.

"It's the second time we fuck, what do you expect?"

"I thought you liked him?" confusion is clear in her voice, and I pat her head, knwoing she will smile dumbly.

"Oh, little Alexa. If you like someone... you don't have to try the lotus on the second time!" I raise my voice at the last part and she flinches.

"Oh well." she pauses "Did he ask you to be his girlfriend yet?" I freeze, and think about an answer. Of course I won't lie to het, but truth be told, it worries me. Yes, it has to be official or else I'm never going to be one hundred per cent sure he likes me as much as I do.

"No. I'm still worried about it. He'll turn his back on me won't he?"

"Please, why would he? No one even wants to be friends with him." I can almost see her roll her eyes. I sigh, all the memories of today slowly fading away, being replaced by all the horrible scenarios in which he tells me he doesn't actually like me.

"I just know he will. Everyone does eventually..."

"That's not true..." she tries to confort me, but no one can make me feel better when I think ugly thoughts about myself.

"Of course it is. Look around. You're my only friend."

"What about everyone else at school?"

"Those are people I talk to at school, not friends. Did you ever see me go out with those people?"

"Of course."

"Yeah, because you were there too." I argue, and Alexa sits up.

"Listen, Dasha. It's your birthday and you just had a wild night and a movie-like day with your crush, Marcel. Why do you always put yourself down when something good happens to you?"

"To take away some of the pain from when something bad happens again." I mumble.

"Oh, stop it already! You could fucking smile, call Marcel, and have phone sex. Or go clubbing and miss school tomorrow too. Or not miss school and walk around like a zombie. You could ask me to go get midnight snacks with you. You could open the window and shout 'I'm gay!' just for the heck of it. You have everything you want or need. Honestly, why do you need any other friends? Am I not good enough? What the hell do you need Marcel to ask you to be his girlfriend for? Doesn't he act like you're a couple anyway? I know you like to look forward to things, but stop looking forward to bad things, and look forward to tomorrow, when Marcel will shove you into the locker, then blush because of what he just did, and you will kiss him and make it look like a porn because of all the tongue and hands. Yeah, you do that. Now I'm going to watch T.V. You can join if you want."