Not What I Expected (A Marcel Fanfic)

Chapter 24

I grab my sweater, and take one last glance in the mirror. I have no idea where I'm going, but I'm going away. It's New Year's Eve, and I'm alone. Alexa is stuck at her dad's house, my parents are going to some restaurant where there were no tickets left, and Marcel, well...

A lot has happened while I was away. France was absolutely amazing, and I can't deny I had the best time of my life. I made friends, saw some cute guys (which I stayed away from because I kept thinking of Marcel) and made some beautiful memories. There's really not much else, because now that I'm back, my world revolves around Marcel again. France took my mind off him for a while, but everynight before I went to sleep, my mind flew back to L.A. and to him.

He hasn't talked to me ever since he found out. I tried to apologize, I tried to call him, skype him, text him, nothing. I'm not sure whether I deserve the silent treatment or not, all I know is I miss him, and my heart breaks more with every minute that goes by. I wish he would be my midnight's kiss tonight, but I know it will not happen.

The thing is, almost three months have passed. Marcel has changed radically during this period of time. Alexa asked her friend for the latest news, and the first thing that came out of the girl's mouth was how Marcel wasn't really Marcel anymore.

She told us he never wears his hair gelled anymore, but lets it be wild and curly... Just like it was after that last night I spent with him. He is part of Zayn's group of friends, and has also become a well-known smoker. He didn't get pierced and doesn't smoke pot, but the old Marcel has almost dissappeared, and so have his glasses.

The most painful thing was, though, that whenever he's going to parties, he takes girls with him to the second floor. When the girl said that, that's when I started crying. Alexa had no idea I was listening, so I just went to my room and locked myself in there to cry. When she realized why my door was locked, she took her spare key, and came in to hold me. I just looked at her and said 'I miss him.'

I've been crying alot lately, actually. It was a drunken mistake, but I would do the same if I was in Marcel's shoes. Probably not, though, because I like Marcel too much to let him go. And this is where it starts hurting more, maybe he doesn't like me as much as I thought and that's why he doesn't want to forgive me. Or maybe I'm just overthinking. Either way, I'm never ever getting drunk again. Ever.

I lock the door behind me and take a deep breath before going out with make up on in days.

"Happy new year!" I scream in the hallway, knowing none of the neighbours are actually home.

I step into the elevator and rest my head against the dirty mirror, probably ruining my updo and smudging the mirror with hairspray. I decide I'm going to go to this bar that advertised its New Year's party everywhere. I get a cab and tell the driver the address. He studies my face but I just ignore him: I'm so sad right now I couldn't care less if I'm getting raped at the start of 2014.

All of a sudden I wonder what would happen if I bumped into Marcel. Maybe if I could apologize to him in person he'd let me kiss him at midnight? Maybe he'd be with a girl? My disposition is put even lower at the thought, so I shake it off and think about whether Alexa is having fun or not. Probably not.

I hand the money to the taxi driver (who fortunately isn't a rapist), and head into the crowding bar. Yay to starting the new year on my own.

I take a seat and ask the bartender for a non-alcoholic cocktail. He smiles cheekily at me as he hands me the drink, and pushes the dollars I put on the counter away.

"Just take it, beautiful." His pet name makes me flinch. I can't seem to get away from him. I give him the flirtiest smile I can muster.

"Thanks."