Fear. Hate. Love

I'm Never Drinking Again

~I'm Never Drinking Again~

I woke to the scorching sun blinding my delicate eyes and Hay yelling about it being time to get up. I let out a groan and rolled over burying my head in my pillow to block out the evil sun light.
"Come on Zee, Bolt got a call from Kev we are meeting Bullet this afternoon." My stomach dropped and my heart raced. I shot up and looked to Hay suddenly very much awake.
"Really?"
"Really, now get your butt in the shower and get yourself ready we leave in an hour." She informed me before leaving me to get ready. I felt the lump in my throat grow as I tried hard to swallow it down. I wasn't ready for this. I thought I had a week to prepare myself for it. Today? No I wasn't ready. My stomach churned and I felt the sudden need throw up. I made a bee line for the bathroom reaching the bowl just in time before I chuck my guts up.
"Ugh I am never drinking again." I said aloud as I flush the toilet and reach for the tooth brush. Each movement of the brush in my mouth threatened to make me throw up again. I managed to get through it without any further throwing up. Next I hoped in the shower which made me feel ten times better.
I dressed in a pair of leggings my combat boots and a misfits tee underneath my denim waist coat. I lined my blue eyes and gave my lashes a lick of mascara but that was it for make up. I wondered if Jay knew I was in the band that would be supporting them. I doubt it. How was I going to deal with seeing him again? My stomach hurt.

Entering the kitchen I grabbed a cup of coffee but after one sip my stomach threatened to reject it if I drank anymore. So after pouring it down the sink I went and took a seat on the couch next to Hay.
"What's up chick?" She asked looking and sounding much to cheery for my liking this morning.
"I don't feel good."
"Ahh the joys of a hangover, thank goodness I don't get them." I knew this wasn't a hangover, well maybe a little but it was not fully alcohols fault.
"Oh wow Owen you look rough." Hay laughed as Owen plopped down on the arm chair. He let out a groan.
"I'm never drinking again." Is what I think he said. I chuckled. I've lost count how many times we have said that.
"Suck it up buddy." Hay laughed getting to her feet. "Guess i'm driving?" She asked. No one answered. When Bolt finally joined us we hit the road.

It only took us a half hour to drive to Kev's office from our house. When we arrived I saw a familiar face standing outside having a smoke. He looked up when he heard people approaching him. His eyes went wide when he saw me.
"Zee?" I nodded.
"Hey Padge." Hayden looked to me shocked, in fact they all did.
"Wait you know, do you know them all?" Bolt asked. I nodded.
"Why didn't you say anything?" Asked Hay
"I didn't want to ruin things."
"Why would you ruin things?" She asked with a look of confusion. I remained silent.
"Hey dude you coming in or wha...." His eyes fell on me and I just wanted the world to swallow me whole and never let me go. "Zee!"
"Hi Jay." Is all I could manage to say. There was a long awkward silence growing thicker by the second.
"A- Are you in the band? The band we are meeting today?"
"I am, this is the band. Bolt our Lead clean vocalist and rhythm guitarist, Hayden our Lead guitarist and backing vocals. Owen the drummer and me Bassist and dirty vocalist."
"You kept up your bass? That is awesome." I looked to him not saying a word. I felt the pain I worked so hard to bury deep inside resurfacing and I had to fight hard not to cry right there on the spot. I felt my stomach churn and the sudden need to throw up again.
"Excuse me." I knew I wouldn't make it to the bathroom so I ran around the side of the building. Hay followed after me. She rubbed my back until I straightened up and wiped my mouth.
"Uh so?" Is all she said.
"Do you remember me telling you about Jason my ex."
"The guys who broke your.... OMG! That isn't?" I nodded. "Oh crap sweetie why didn't you say?"
"I didn't want to ruin the celebration, or miss this opportunity."
"I mean even before then, I mean we listen to the band all the time, that can't have been easy. I am so sorry."
"No don't be I am a fan of the band too. I love their music, I always have."
"Shit, Look we can say no to this if you want?"
"No! We are not missing this opportunity of a life time. We are going on this tour."
"But-"
"I am an adult, we both are and we can deal with this. It'll be fine." She gave me a side glance of concern before I ushered her back to the guys who were still standing outside.
"Sorry, we were out celebrating last night. Over done it I think." I said with a weak smile.
"Zee, Jay filled us in and we totally understand if you don't want to go ahead with this."
"No!" I sighed. "Look as I just told Hay, Jay and I are adults right?" I looked to him he gave a sharp nod. "We can deal with this like adults. We are not passing up this amazing opportunity. As long as you are fine with it Jay?"
"Of course." He replied.
"Well then lets get inside." I ushered everyone inside.

The meeting went on for just under an hour and I got a quick catch up with the guys, jay and I communicating very little, but that was to be expected. Before long they had to rush off as they had an interview with Kerrang and then they were making a guest appearance on BBC radio One. We said our goodbyes and they left. Hay filled Kev in on the situation and I spent the next forty minutes convincing them all I was fine to do this.
"The hardest part is over. Seeing him again for the first time in fifteen years, now that part is over it's can only get easier right?" No one answered. "Okay so i'm not saying it will be easy, but lets think about it, we will be on different tour buses and when we are together Jay and I can either be polite to one and other or just keep our distance. I know it's not an ideal situation but serious we cannot let it ruin this opportunity for us, I won't let it."
"Okay, okay fine, but as long as you are absolutely sure?"
"I'm sure Hay honest." I reassured her. They finally accepted I was okay with this and we headed home to recover from last night and prepare for the tour.