Monsters || Punk 5SOS AU

#20

Katelyn______

"It's a long story so please don't judge or comment until I get to the end, alright?" He nods and I begin.

"It sort of all started going down hill the day after we got back from our 'bonding week.' Going to school that next day really hurt being ditched by my best friend that I've known since I was 8. I still think she is just being lead on by the populars and doesn't mean half the stuff she does, but that's a different story. That's when I started feeling different. My mind felt like it would sometimes have something else controlling it.

"I was going to tell you, I swear I was. But, they didn't think it was a good idea. If I started being needy, everything would just go back to the way they used to be. You ignoring me and I just carry on living in the shadows I guess. I thought it wouldn't last very long. Maybe a day, at most a week. But it didn't. Over a month now it's lasted. Small attacks that slowly got stronger. I didn't used to have many voices, only sometimes. Now it's like they speak to me, they want to have conversations with me and distract me from reality. 

"I thought I was failing school so didn't bother attending classes. Okay, I can see you don't buy that one. The real reason I would ditch class was because people kept on saying stuff behind by back. Calling me ugly, worthless, not wanting to be in the class as 'that'. The teachers did nothing, only said things to them like how it's already been a month get over it. Some classes I was already ahead in because I was too scared to go to sleep some nights so I would get ahead in my work. I would skip those classes. Ones that I weren't doing so well in I would attend more often. 

"When Luna came along I started attending class because I had someone watching my back. She would stand up for me and no one would mess with her. It's becoming less common for me to hear the comments now because people are scared that you would do something to them. She helped me realise there are still nice people my age that like me for me and not because they have to or their family.

"I am sorry, I swear I am. I felt so bad having to be in the hospital with the doctor basically pouring out my most kept hidden secrets to you knowing that I should've told you all of them first. Please understand, if I had the choice I would've. They just didn't let me. Any time I would walk up to you to ask for help they would make me keep walking and not stop to be able to ask for help."

Tears were streaming down my face by the time I had finished. I had looked at the ground almost the entire time and only looked at Michael's face once. My head was towards the ground when Michael grabbed my shoulders and pulled me into a hug. I wrapped my arms around his lower back and sobbed into his chest. He was rubbing one hand up and down my back. He kissed the top of my head then rested his chin on it. 

"Let it out, it's okay to just let it all out." 

***

When I finally remove myself from his embrace, the clock read 12:00pm. That was a long time hugging. I look at him, waiting for him to say something.

"Ash told me a little bit about your conversation you had with him at the hospital. If you want me to trust you again, you need to trust me. Got it?" I nod. "You have to tell me whenever you have an attack. Even if it's just a voice in your head that's not your own. No matter what they try to convince you, I need to know about that kind of stuff. Even if it's not me, say Luna for example. Get her to then tell me, I can help."

I once again nod at this words, trying my best to concentrate on everything he's saying.

"If you want to hang out with us at school, even invite Luna along, I'm fine with that. If the guys know I'm pretty sure they would be okay with it also. All we want to do is help. They were all heart broken at the hospital. Especially Ashton. The Hemmings are going to adopt you, if something goes wrong there tell one of them. They can find a way of helping you."

I continue to nod at his words.

"And Katelyn. I just need you to know-"

"Mike. They're speaking right now. And they're not happy." I say nearly crying again. It physically hurt to tell him.

"Where are the monsters?"

"Uhh, coming through the forest?"

"Imagine them there, all of them. Walking through a forest." I close my eyes and imagine. "Now, I want you to turn them around. Make them walk out of the forest. Force them to walk down the hill and make them stay at the bay."

I successfully manage to do that. I see all these monsters trapped in this small bay with row boats and boat sheds. Stones instead of sand and funny little buckets everywhere.

"Now, pretend to almost, zoom away from them. You're in a castle. Notice how far away from the castle they are? That's how little they mean. As long as they are at bay, they can not hurt you."

"I don't understand how that works?" I say while opening my eyes. The pain from the voices is gone.

"It's all mind games. The try to take over your mind so you need to force them back. Sometimes you can do it by yourself, other times you need an almost kick start to get you mind focusing on it. Sometimes they are more powerful and you just have to make it through an attack." 

I smile up at him before hugging him again. "Thank you. You wanted to say something before I needed your mind trick-chant thing?"

"Yeah, I just need you to know that I love you Katelyn. I really do." I grin at his words, feeling 300% better.

"I love you too Mikey, to the moon and back."

AN: Don't know if the monster thing really works, I made it up. Also the moon reference is something I had to put in there, sorry :) #sorrynotsorry.