Perfection of Darkness: The Fourth Book of Poems

Verse Eleven: The Mishapen Emotions

Hey, is it okay that I miss you?

Everyday passes by but it doesn't make a sound

I've been infected with nostalgia for my whole life

I'm not one to say goodbye

So many people tore up old scars

But so many healed them

The only thing they have in common is that they don't remember me

I cry when you think I'm insignificant

But I'd cry even more if you didn't think of me at all

I'm not perfect in my speech or thoughts

I've had troubled motives

But that doesn't mean that I'm not innocent

I crave to feel loved

Open the lock that's been keeping you away

You don't have the key

I'm faltering on an old memory

~

Do you still remember me?

I don't doubt that you have better things to do

Then hold on to someone that isn't worth it

I know you don't love me but do you still hate me?

Forgiveness isn't one of your virtues

Patience isn't one of your virtues

Consideration isn't one of your virtues and that's why I'm dying tonight

~

I don't have any remorse

Not a single bit

But I still beg for it

I can't show mercy

But I want to be submissive to somone that's dismissive

Do you like to torment me or do you really not care?

Either way I cannnot say that I'm not loving the pain in knowing you

Except it was only the past

And right now I know I don't want to see you again

~

You look exceptionally guilty underneath

Is your anger hiding what you truly feel?

Or am I not making sense?

Everything I was told was a lie?

But is that true?

I'm just perceiving what I expected from you all along

I'm the one severing it

But deep down you know it was your betrayal

~

You never forgave me until I began to despise what we had

And now your opening your arms up

Now you're offering a second chance

But like everything, it died

You thought I changed but you said I didn't

And the fault wasn't mine

And I know that you haven't changed either

Just by observing the way you blame me

And before our time ends, you purposefully lose it

~

I've wanted to feel love

But all I felt was the torment it came with it

And because of that, I don't want anyone

I can't have anything

'Cause nothing is going to keep me alive

Face it already, I don't care about you

But I care about the fact I can't care

I'm numb inside so leave before you are to

Nothing is going to keep my heart beating

Or your lungs heaving

So why not finally make them both stop?