Perfection of Darkness: The Fourth Book of Poems

Verse Twenty Six: Deep Gashes

So I'll wake up and scream

The seventh time I fogot your name

But your image haunts my dreams

I know you can feel me suffocating

I'm shaking, I've fallen

So do you notice me now?

Because I've noticed you

Do you recognize me?

~

I'm looking through a shattered view

No logic, just emotion

That's why I scream at you

Begging to hear me

Begging for peace

I'm not unseen

I'm just unheard

My voice can't utter a sound until you call me

~

I hardly remember what it's like to feel pain

I'm longing for it

But I'm not avoiding death

I'm stalking you but it won't stalk me back

So are you looking through your own shattered view?

It must be broken to pieces because the fragments cut my skin

I'm not going to bleed again

I'll just deepen my old, healed wounds

So maybe I'll feel love again

Maybe I'll be accepted again

And through blood stained tears all I feel is pain

~

So I'll wake up and scream

My hours are running low

The clock is dying

The handles aee slowing down

You told me where to cut

So I just deepened the gashes

You taught me how to hate

So I just increased the feeling

It hurts to cry but I need to before I die

I like to cause pain

I eat death, and drink decay

Just watch your world fade away

Just watch me fade away

~

It hurts to cry but I need to before I die

I like to suffer, but I don't feel alive

It's simply the difference from reality and my imagination

So I know it's real

So I know where to slice

Across my wrists and across my throat