Perfection of Darkness: The Fourth Book of Poems

Verse Fourteen: Can't Take It

I can't rise from ashes

I can't make my expectations

I won't be able to do the things I need to do for the people I love

Without her and without you

I'll be nothing more then an unnoticed crack in the pavement

I can't take anymore of what's inside of my body

My heart will beat to loud and the pounding doesn't cease

I can't take seeing you sad and suffering

I can't take seeing you so insecure when you don't need to be

I know I can fix it alll and I promise with everything I am

Even if it isn't that much

That I won't see you sad and suffering

That I won't see you so insecure when you don't need to be

I'll be able to fix it all

With what comes from my heart

~

It doesn't matter what's gonna happen

All I know is my heart is gonna explode

Every time my eyes wander to your picture frame

With every thought of joyous memories and moments that will come in time

A tear will fall from my eye and it'll splatter the ground

Unnoticeably

Because my mind is to occupied thinking of the memories of you

You can cut my stomach open and take anything that's in my body

I don't need anything except for your love

No matter what, even if my heart stops beating

Even if the hours look dark and the sun has finally set

Below our horizons

It won't be the end

I won't let myself die

I'm not gonna let any form of our suffering be wasted

Even if I'm alone in the darkness

I'll still know that they love me

And it'll be enough to close my eyes and sleep peacefully, through a terrible night

And I'll only wake up again to feel endless sadness when you're not here, by my side

I was none and then I was half and now I'm finally whole once again

Agony, can be a key to all great things

It was the key to a binding relationship

That we will always share

It'd fight the evilest demon

I'd walk for a million days without legs

I'd walk on water

I'd let my body burn and not let myself decease

Just to be with you

And if it came to this point

I'd defy God to be with you

~

But I can't take it anymore

Love died within my soul

No need to cover up my wrists

I'm already severing the skin

So I'll bleed my life away

Thinking about how I'll always never fit in

I can't communicate so I try to die

But there's no one to give me a helping hand

I don't know if they care or not but they can't see the future

Because life isn't a book

It doesn't foreshadow

And nothing but the scars on my body forsaw my suicide

~

We all learn

But this was something I didn't pay with money

That I didn't find in a book

I paid with my life and I found it in reality

If I didn't pay, I'd be in debt

In constant sorrow until I died

So why not pay the price?

Everything we had was nothing to me

At the time it was

But I'm starting to learn the future is just as important as the present

And when you cry when you read my letter written to you in blood

Do you cry because I'm dead?

Or do you cry because you know that I hate all our memories and you along with them?

One is selfish

One is grief

But either way your a human being

One is about you

One is about me

But either way your going to die just like me

Because you can't take it

Just like me