Goodnight, Carmilla

Cory (tumblr user neverenoughgay)

Dear Carmilla cast and crew,
I think I could write books and books thanking you all for what you have done for me, but I always find myself in a position where I have to sum it all up in a few words. To be honest, it's quite hard.
When I started watching Carmilla I was a closeted, scared, lonely senior in high school with no real sense of identity or community. I had just cut off contact with my first girlfriend, someone who had been my best friend and confidant for five years. Very few people knew I was queer. Even less accepted it. At some point in October, early on, my friend convinced me to join tumblr. I was on for a couple days when I saw a picture of Natasha in leather pants. I'm so gay that that was all it took to make me watch the show. I remember I had a test the next day and I binged it all in one night. I woke up at my desk the next morning a little happier and a little gayer. I had to wait the week to find out if Carmilla was still alive and I remember actually crying when Danny carried her in. I remember screeching when Hollstein kissed.
From then on, I came out to everyone. I just felt so much more normal because I had a show, and a wonderful group of people behind me, telling me there was nothing wrong with me. I came out to my mom, my dad, all of my friends. And I made so many friends by just being honest.
I remember my friends saying Carmilla ruined me because I never stopped talking about it. Everyone had to learn far too quickly who Natasha and Elise and Kaitlyn and Sharon and Annie were because I never stopped talking about them. You are all so important to me because you gave me the strength to be loud. Before Carmilla I had nothing. I didn't say much because I didn't have much to say but Carmilla gave me things to say. It gave me things to love and care about.
And thank you soooooo much Carmilla crew because without you we wouldn't have this incredible show that has changed so many lives, including my own. I feel like you never get enough credit for creating this wonderful thing.
Jordan and Ellen, thank you for making me remember why I love writing. I've been writing since I could make letters (even before, in fact, just scribbles on a page at one point) and your words have reinvigorated me. You make people feel things. Sometimes perhaps too many things. (I love it though) And I remembered the feeling of making someone scream at a piece of paper or smile until their cheeks hurt because of something I wrote. I've written so much more since Carmilla started and I just want to thank you both for that.
About a year ago, I sent Ellen an ask telling her how devastated I was that season 3 would be the last season and she told me she would be sad to say goodbye as well. I've watched Kaitlyn and Natasha post videos saying goodbye with tears in their eyes. And I'm amazed that I've been given a gift as great as this show and this cast and this crew. That someone took the time to make this little gay vampire webseries that could and made all of us feel a little safer and a little more normal. I'm amazed that you all love it as much as we do and that it has saved all of you as much as it has saved us. I honestly can't thank you all enough. When this show comes to a close, I'm going to be heartbroken, but I know I'll be a little stronger, a little happier, and a little more alive than I was before it started.
Thank you all <3
Goodnight Carmilla