Forbidden Love

Confession

Few days have passed since I have discovered that I am in love with Alex. I have decided to hide all my feelings and continue being friends with him. I need to endure the pain.

I will keep this feeling locked in my heart. I will not interfere with Alex and Teresa. As their friend, I want them to be happy. I might be happy for them for real. Although, I hate this feeling of jealousy when Alex is with her.

That's what I thought...

I thought that I could bear being with them being lovey dovey together. But I really can't. Every time I see them together, I feel like my heart is being crushed and I have difficulty breathing.

I thought that as long as I am with him even as his friend, I could be happy.

But I just can't be satisfied with that!!!!!!!!!!

As time passes, I just fall more deeply in love with him.

Every time he smiles, he always took my breath away. I never knew loving someone could be this great and feel so good but painful at the same time. It's like when drinking an orange juice. Love is sweet and sour at the same time.

Torturous months have passed, I watched Alex and Teresa fall deeply in love. While I silently suffered. 

I can't take this anymore!!!!!!!

I decided that I will tell Alex that I am in love with him!!! I can't contain this feeling any longer.

After finishing my shift at the hospital, I decided that I will finally confess to him.

"This is it, Ken!!!! You need to do this. It's now or never!!!!" I firmly told myself.

I took my phone out in my pocket and dialed Alex's number. "I hope he is not with Teresa."

The phone started ringing.

He answered it on the second ring.

"Hey, Ken. "He said.

"Damn, even his voice seems more attractive to me now. I'm really fucked up." I thought to myself

"Hi Alex, are you bu---sy?" I stuttered sheepishly. "Damn, I need to pull myself together!!!!!!! Stop being nervous!"

I took a deep breath and blurted the words without stuttering.

"Are you busy right now?"

"Hold on dude, I'll just browse my schedule." He said.

"Ok."I replied.

And after a few minutes, I heard his voice again

"Nope, I am not busy, I have no date with Teresa cause she is pretty busy with her clients. hearings." She is really an amazing lawyer!!!!!! She can handle so many clients at the same time!!!"He said.

"Damn, Teresa again!" 

"Ok dude, I'll meet you later at the bar."I said briefly.

"Sure, dude. It has been a long time since we hang out."And he hung up.

I went and drove to our condominium. "I need to prepare myself mentally." I need to tell him the truth. He deserves the truth." 

I arrived at the condominium, parked my car. I used the copy of the keys Alex gave me when I first transferred at his condominium. It feels such a long time since I've moved here to live with Alex. A long time since I have realized that I am in love with Alex. A long time since I have accepted my feelings that I have been denying for a very long time.