Ambivalence

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"Are you awake or still half asleep?"he joked. "I heard a thud, and I reckon you fell in the sofa?" He added while trying to contain his laughter.

I would've said a comeback but Alex's looks silenced me and made me gasped. His hair is sparkiling. And I realized it's because he just took a bath and his hair is wet. 

"Damn! I shook my head!!! What's happening to me? Why am I having these weird thoughts?!?"I cursed myself. "I can't be attracted to a man!!! "

I forced myself to shrugged my strange thoughts off.   

" You're really still half asleep hahahaha" he laughed again. "Anyways, thanks dude for driving me here last night. I got wasted good. Hahaha, maybe it's because I'm so tired from my shift at the hospital before. " He added.

  "Yeah, you were pretty wasted last night,"I answered as I try my best to act normal and pretend that I am not caught off-guard with his appearance. 

Wait. I paused. "What did I just call him? Pretty?"

"The fuck!!!! I am so fucked up since last night!!"

"Yeah,  I said that, didn't I?.  Are you  still drunk dude?" Hahahaha he laughed at me again.

 "Yeah"I laughed "and I drove you home. Your place is really close to the hospital and is really huge." I replied to him.
I tried to distract myself from these stupid thoughts. 

"I hope you don't mind me crashing on your sofa last night, I didn't think that I could still drive back home after last night." I said to him

"And After I've had some weird and fucked up thoughts". I added in my mind. 

"Yeah, it's cool with me. No worries. "

"Umm, if you don't mind, I'm gonna go back to my place and freshen up, I gotta go to work later in the afternoon." I said.

"Ok dude." Alex responded and we bump fists. I then hurriedly went outside his condominium and went inside my car and started driving.


I drove back home, trying to forget the thoughts that are plaguing my mind and tried to concentrate on driving. 

"Damn what the fuck is wrong with me!?!! Ken you are just confused!" I told myself.

"Damn what the fuck is wrong with me!?!! Ken you are just confused!" I told myself

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 I need to focus on my work to make these bizarre thoughts disappear!" 




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