{completed} one-shots 》servamp x reader

Sakuya Watanuki ~ Pickup Lines

Warning: this one-shot contains come of the most cheesy and stupidest pickup lines ever.

You have been warned.

~*~

"It's handy that I have my library card because I'm totally checking you out."

(f/n) chuckled and rolled her eyes at her best friend's stupid pickup line, but decided to play along anyway.

"Was your mother a beaver? 'Cause damn!" She exclaimed, and Sakuya raised an eyebrow, stuffing his hands into his trouser pockets and walking alongside (f/n).

This was something the two did nearly everyday, and everyone around them often mistook the duo for an actual couple, because they could never tell whether the two were being serious with their ridiculous pickup lines or not.

But Sakuya and (f/n) had been friends practically since birth, and they found eachother's sense of humour more amusing that serious.

And besides, the two loved being best friends, because they could do whatever weird shit they liked without the pressure of being in a relationship. It was perfect.

"Are you German? Because I wanna be Ger-man," Sakuya smirked and (f/n) couldn't help but let out a loud laugh at that.

It was a good thing the two weren't walking home with Mahiru and the others, or that anyone was around them, otherwise they would've been seriously worried about the level of stupidity going on inside (f/n) and Sakuya's brains.

"Did you just fart? Because you blow me away," (f/n) winked, and Sakuya snickered.

"As a matter of fact, I did," he answered proudly, and (f/n) grimaced.

"Ew, Sakuya!"

"Just kidding! Hey, do you have a Band-aid? 'Cause I just scraped my knee falling for you," Sakuya teased, trying to look seductive but, in reality, looking like a foot.

"I've lost my teddy-bear," (f/n) pouted. "Can I sleep with you instead?"

"If you were a Transformer, you'd be Optimus Fine," Sakuya drawled and (f/n) snorted.

"God, Sakuya," she sighed, and Sakuya chuckled. "Remember me? Oh, that's right, I've only met you in my dreams."

(f/n) linked her arm with Sakuya's at the end of her pickup line and looked up at the boy with an exaggerated look of admiration which made him want to pick her up and throw her off a cliff. That's just the type of friends they were.

"Can you touch my hand? I want to tell my friends I've been touched by an angel," Sakuya asked, and (f/n) rolled her eyes.

"Excuse me, you have something in your eye. Nope; it's just a sparkle," (f/n) said sweetly, squeezing Sakuya's arm, which caused the green-haired male to look down at her with a raised eyebrow as if to say 'really?'

"That was terrible (f/n)," he said and (f/n) giggled. "Go on; feel my jacket. It's made of boyfriend material," he nudged (f/n) lightly, a smirk on his face as he watched the girl look away to come up with more terrible pickup lines.

But when she sighed and looked back over at Sakuya, he knew he'd won.

"Dammit, Sakuya Watanuki, you win again," she pouted and Sakuya laughed.

"Haha! I am the terrible pickup-line champion!" He exclaimed and (f/n) smiled deviously.

"That's nothing to be proud of."

~*~

I had way more fun writing this than I should have.