Red Vs Blue Reader Inserts [COMPLETE]

44. Astonished (Blue team)

A little change to that format. Instead of romantic, I'll specify what kind of one shot it is. Spent 3 days thinking of a Sarge one shot, came up with so many more ideas that weren't him.

Words: 407

Characters: Tucker, Church and Caboose

Genre: Comedic

"And, that's how I, Eskimo-flavour monster Alice Joanna Kendra Georgia Cunningham the fifth of the seventeenth battalion of Joseph, prevented the dirty Martians, of Neptune, from conquering Neptune."

You took in a proud breath as you miraculously finished your totally true and historically accurate tale. Your pride quickly turned into somewhat confusion as you surveyed the expressions of your teammates.

"What?" There was silence, until Tucker seemed to break out of his daze.

"What...the fuck?" As he said this, Church seemed to be snapped out of his daze next.

"That's bullshit!"

"I've got to agree with Church there," Tucker started, "especially the part about saving Neptune from the Neptunians."

"Neptuni-what? They were the locals of Mars from Neptune, dipshit." You said.

"So they're Neptunians?"

"No? They're Martians." Tucker was going to say something about that but decided not to even bother and change the conversation.

"Let's say that's true. Your name is definitely not Eskimo-flavour monster the seventeenth, or whatever. "

"How the fuck do you know? Huh, Lavernius? My name could be Jason Saldaña or Burnie Burns for all you know!" You got a "what the fuck" look form Church.

"But it's not!"

"How do you know?"

"First of all, your name is (L/N) not Eskimo whatever the fuck that is. And, nobody would call their child that, THAT'S JUST FUCKING STUPID!" As he said this, his voice raised in a few octaves.

"Pfft, I didn't think anyone would call their child Leonard but, here we are!"

"HEY, FUCK YOU! I GET ENOUGH SHIT FROM EVERYONE DAILY, YOU THINK-"

"Church, calm down." Tucker had to pat the man child, in an attempt to calm him. That seemed to work. With that finished, he turned back to you. "So, Eskimo flavour-"

"I was just joking around, don't actually call me that. It's fucking retarded."

"SON OF A-"

"What part of your story was actually true?" You stood there pondering Tuckers question while stroking your chin.

"Whichever parts Caboose believed in." All attention was now put on an unusually quiet Caboose.

"Oh, uh...I liked the part where Church was my best friend!" Cute.

"CABOOSE! THAT WASN'T IN THE FUCKING STORY! AND EVEN IF IT WAS, I'M NOT YOUR FUCKING BEST FRIEND." You smirked at Church.

"Yes it was Church." You said matter of fact manner. "It was right next to the part about my 58 divorces."

"FUCKING-FUCK! YOU KNOW WHAT? I'LL BELIEVE YOU THE DAY TUCKER GIVES BIRTH!"