Red Vs Blue Reader Inserts [COMPLETE]

Head canons: Hanging out with the (I want to fucking die) squad. Aka The A.Is

Author note: My babies don't get enough love, I've written one for them before (59. Challenged) but I thought I'd give them more. The UNO thing is based off real experiences, honestly just fuck you George, you cheating fuck. I hate you.

Words: 830

Characters: Epsilon, Gamma, Omega, Sigma, Theta, Delta

Genre: Comedy (Real life AU)

Theta:

· My beautiful baby cinnamon bun ❤

· The cutest of your group and the kindest

· Your go to boy/man if you want to talk about your feelings. Will accept everything you say with an open mind

· If you invite him on day out (romantic or not) he'll be extremely delighted to go

· Might even miss out on a day or two sleep because of how excited he is

· His excitement might reach the point where he'll gloat (in a very embarrassed manner) about it to everyone

· This would ultimately lead to the gang (minus Delta because he is a tsundere) tagging along in jealousy.

· If he can contain his excitement and you two are able to go on your date, he'll either take you to a skatepark or something with sick fireworks

Extra: Please don't compliment my baby, he'll die from embarrassment. He is too modest and innocent for his own good

Delta:

· You could call him the dad of the group but that would imply that he cares for everyone else

· He only cares for you and Theta but even that's a stretch

· The emotionless one that is perplexed by the stupidity of the gang

· Does have some momentary internal crisis's about if he likes you or not (Can be platonic or romantic if you want)

· Usually can calm down Epsilon (Sort of, he just directs his attention to some other thing)

· Has some moments, like whenever someone calls him out on something he does wrong. He'll go bright red but won't admit it

· Can be quite defensive of you (and Theta) and will have passive aggressive anger towards the person

Extra: Is smart and uses the metric system 😊

Gamma:

· A tie between him and Omega for the most obnoxious member

· Impossible to have a conversation with this thing. WHY DO YOU KEEP LYING?

· Greetings are unironically terrible knock-knock jokes

· Gets genuinely offended if you don't laugh or call out his bad jokes

· Him and Sigma get along TOO well. Keep them away from each other at ALL cost!

· Doesn't enjoy spending time with you alone. Kind of an asshole and will only hang out with you if Epsilon is there (too piss him off) or his best friend Sigma 😊

· Seriously, he will not spend any time with you at all (he might genuinely dislike you)

· Habit of messing with Theta (think of 707 and Yoosung)

Extra: In UNO will constantly trade cards with Sigma out of sight or place down two cards without anyone knowing. If you let him shuffle he'll add all the good cards to his deck.

Sigma:

· Unlike Gamma he isn't an asshole all the time

· Still a huge asshole towards Epsilon but he doesn't act like he hates you

· It's possible to get him to hang out alone with you but it's better not to

· Will constantly fuck with random pedestrians just for the fun of it (and might occasionally blame it on you)

· God what an asshole

· But!!! Unlike Gamma he will (try?) to make it up to you with some beautiful art. Fucked up and deranged art but beautiful art nonetheless

· Has a weird relationship with Delta. It's hard to explain it. It doesn't seem like he likes Delta but he constantly calls him 'brother' and gives him long weird stares. Gay or nah?

Extra: He's colour blind and when painting just puts a shiton of colour on everything

Omega:

· Seriously what's with you and hanging out with assholes?

· This dude if probably the fucking worst though

· Gamma and Sigma can stop themselves before it gets too serious but this one has no filter

· He's pure, unbridled hatred and will stop at nothing to get a reaction out of you

· Has his funny moments and can sometimes be amusing but if you're on the receiving end it's no laughing matter

· Why is he a part of this group?

· I mean, nobody likes him, not even Gamma.

· Like seriously?

· His speech does makes Theta giggle because of how goofy it sounds (his speech is so hard to write)

· Never finished school ("School is for the uneducated")

· Can be quite the Tsundere at times (and it can be cute) but if you embarrass his ego too much, he'll hit you where it hurts

Epsilon:

· Ayeee, guess what, another asshole! But he's not even a bad one

· Such a cutie ^^ though he does sometimes reminisce about the past

· He used to be in a love triangle (kind of) with his twin brother, but the girl they loved died. He's moved on but his brother could never

· A good guy to hang around with the problem is when you invite the shitty trio

· Oh god. Why?

· You were forced to move out of your apartment because of noise complaints (though that was partly your fault for always inviting them)

· He also once broke your gaming systems because he sucks at Overwatch and Smash Bros (He did pay for them though!! Respectable)

· The Delta, Theta, Epsilon combo is undoubtedly the most calming and fun experience for you all

· He's still a sore loser but it's more on the friendly side because you don't have the cheating fucks playing

· Seriously, cheating in UNO, how low can you get?