Red Vs Blue Reader Inserts [COMPLETE]

13. Confused (Sarge)

I really wanna write a Sarge one where you go flirting with the blues just to piss him off. Next is either, freelancers/A.I's reactions to a kiss, school AU Doc, freelancer imagines, something with the girls for the guys or a South one shot.

Words: 331

Characters: Sarge

Genre: (attempting) comedic

Blood gulch was a decrepit canyon, a decrepit boxed canyon in the middle of nowhere. It was the only canyon (in space) you had been in but you knee nothing would top it absurdity. It wasn't the canyon that was absurd but, it was the people. Specifically, Sarge.

Sarge was something else. He was like an annoyingly protective father.

"Get in formation dirt bag!" Sarge pointed his shot gun at his least liked person.

"I am not being (L/N)'s fucking meat-shield!" You could only send Grif a sympathetic look as Sarge held a shot gun to his head.

"Come on Grif," you started off, "do this favour for me."

"FAVOUR? I'M NOT FUCKING DO IT!" To yours (and Sarge's) surprise, Grif fled, leaving you and the rest of red team standing there.

"Since that dirt bag is gone, this mission is up to you men." Sarge then began informing Simmons and Donut about ludicrous and likely to fail plan while you stood there quietly. "Got it men?"

"Men? What about me Sarge?"

"You'll be staying here."

"But you'll be at a disadvantage!"

"We'll have numbnuts over there help us." Sarge pointed at where Grif briskly walked off to.

"But if you bring me, we'll be at an advantage!"

"I'm not risking it, stay here with Lopez, I trust he'll take care of you."

"Whhatttt? No Sarge, pleeeeease." Jesus you sounded like Donut. "I want to fight the blues! I want to gooooooooooooo."

"Little lady, my pride would never allow me to send you into battle against those dirty blues!"

"BUT DONUT'S GOING!"

"Princess bubble-gum ("It's lightish red") is a capable solider."

"But I'm a higher rank than hiiiiiim!"

"That doesn't matter, now give me five!"

"Five? Like, five push ups?"

"No, five hours of consecutive cleaning! I want to see this base clean for our victory!" You groaned loudly before starting your journey to Lopez.

"YES DAD! I SWEAR I WON'T BREAK MY CURFEW, OR GO OUT WITH ANY BAD BOYS!"