Tiny Moments

16: Nowhere to Go and No Place to Be

Abby's POV

When I woke up, I saw that Mommy was already awake.

"Good morning baby," she says moving her hair out of her face.

"Good morning," I say trying to get closer to her. She notices and pulls me over. Mommy is on her phone looking at something.

"Abby?" Mommy says breaking the silence.

"What?" I answer looking at her.

"What do you want for Christmas?" She asks out of the blue.

"I don't know, I don't know what Christmas," I say, "well I've never celebrated a real one except one but I don't remember," I confess.

"Okay so on Christmas there's a little fat and jolly guy who comes and gives every child a present. He leaves..." mom starts.

"Why hasn't he ever left me one? I never got one, is he even real?" I ask.

"Yes," mommy says hesitantly.

"Are you sure? I never got a present," I say sitting up.

"Okay, Abby I'm gonna be honest. Santa isn't real. But most kids believe in Santa. Santa was a saint and he brought gifts to kids in their stockings to bring joy. I was hoping you might have some hope left to believe," she says looking at me directly.

"Why do the kids believe?" I ask.

"Because Santa brings toys for them," she says.

"Oh well, in that case, I believe," I smile.

"No they believe for real," she says. I give her a confused look processing the words. "I mean they don't know that he isn't real or if he is. That's what it means to believe. To have hope and faith in something real or not real."

"Oh, well I want to believe if he brings presents," I smile.

"Okay, do you know what you want?" I ask.

"Nope, maybe he could take me shopping," I say.

"So you want money?" Mommy asks.

"Yeah, if money means I get a present then yes," I say.

"Wow, Abby!" Mommy laughs.

"What? I just really really really want a present," I say as a big smile spreads across my face.

"Don't worry you're gonna get a ton of presents," Mommy says.

"Okay well, I don't care then," I say.

"Really there's nothing you really really want?" She asks running her fingers through my hair.

"Um I want a bike," I say.

"Okay I'll see what I can do about that," she says with a hint of concern on her face.

"Alright, what are we gonna do today?" I ask.

"We are gonna get up and take a shower or bath and make cookies?" She says.

"Yeah, I want a cookie," I say.

"Okay, but we have to go get a mix or you have to ask Grandma for help cause I'm really bad at cooking anything," she says getting out of bed.

"Yeah I know," I smile.

"Hey!" She says offended.