The New Nerd - Niall Horan

Part 29

I hadn’t been talking to Niall since I touched his willy. Funny how joyful it actually was for me who was a virgin myself.

Anyway, I was going to see him today. It was graduation day and he promised to come, no matter what. I couldn’t wait to see him in the crowd next to his dad, who also was invited even though Niall wasn’t graduating, unfortunately. 

“You look gorgeous, honey,” my parents told me as they were standing in front of me, both of them taking pictures with different cameras. If they would’ve taken that many pictures of me a year ago I would’ve probably enjoyed the attention, but now it only made me feel uncomfortable. I was used to being locked in with Niall. Alone. No one but us. It felt like a hundred persons were there with us, when in reality; it was only us two in the room. I don’t know how many times that I’ve told myself this, but he was the one. Even in our young age I could feel the love between us like we were an old couple that had been married for over 40 years.

After hundreds of photos we all got in the car and drove to the education ceremony, where I was going to attend as a student and a speaker.

We arrived where the ceremony was held. The place was filled with students in their long Academic dresses, along with their families. I was happy I only invited my parents to come with me, but I would’ve been grateful to see Niall show up to support me as I stood on the stage. He would be the only person I’d look at. I could imagine his smile as I finished my speech. I knew he was going to be proud of me. He created the person I was today. It was because of him I was standing here — about to get graduated.

“(Y/N), there’s someone who wants to see you,” my mother poked my shoulder. I quickly turned around in excitement.

Hoping to see Niall, I was disappointed to see my teacher stand beside my parents. Mr. Hedkins was smiling, which I found pretty surprising. He did have a smile. Wow.

He reached forward and shook my hand, “Pleasant to see you here, (Y/N),” he smiled happily.

“I’m glad to be here as well,” I responded, not sure what else to say.

“That Horan boy really helped you, huh?” I nodded and smiled as the thought of Niall came back.

“Well, that’s what I told you! I knew you would thank me one day for making him your tutor!” He patted my shoulder and walked off to another student.

I remembered the day I sat in Mr. Hedkins’ office as he told me I got a tutor. It was because of him Niall and I ended up like we are; boyfriend and girlfriend. Maybe he wouldn’t have gotten the lung problem if we didn’t meet. When I thought of it, the whole thing could be my fault. Maybe I was the reason he was getting weaker? It wouldn’t surprise me if I was the blame. I mean, it wasn’t the first time I would’ve taken someone’s life. I shivered by the thought.

He was still nowhere to be seen. There were tons of blond haired guys here, but no Niall was among them. I continued to look after him as I was dragged to the stage where I soon was about to hold my speech. I started regretting my choice by doing it voluntary. There was no joy in doing it when I wouldn’t see a proud Niall smile up at me. He promised he would come, no matter what. He promised. 

“… (Y/N), ladies and gentlemen!” Our principal cheered. I swallowed hard before I started walking up the stairs and out on the stage in front of what seemed like a million eyes. People were still cheering as I stopped in front of the microphone. I took a good look towards my parents as I saw another familiar parent as well; Niall’s father, Bobby. Next to him was the empty seat where Niall was supposed to sit. My heart sank as I realized he would not show up. Bobby was holding up an iPad. He pointed at the iPad and turned it around to show a waving Niall on the screen. He was face timing with Niall! Niall was watching. Niall was here, even though he wasn’t. I automatically smiled like an idiot.

“Students… what a year! We’ve all gotten far only after three short years. Sure, it have been three slow years as well, but when we think back on it, it all went faster than we ever realized…” I talked with a wide smile and was full of confidence. And so on, I continued my speech.

Abruptly, my eyes changed direction to Niall… Niall? What was happening? I shook my head, refusing to believe what was happening. There, right in front of me, was Niall sitting, but no one but me seemed to notice. Niall isn’t here, (Y/N), the voice in my head spoke. The voice was right; it was probably just an illusion.

My eyes wandered over to the seat next to my illusionary Niall, where his dad was wiping his tears away. Bobby was looking down on the screen, tears continuing to stream down his face. I stepped away from the microphone slowly. I felt my own warm tears glide down my cheek, taking the mascara with them. My knees got wobbly and started to shake, yet I managed to keep my balance.

Covering my mouth while shaking, I saw Niall smile up at me. No. He wasn’t here. He was at the hospital. My eyes refused to look away from Niall’s soul sitting in front of me, still showing of the smile I would never be able to forget.

Niall turned to his father who was covering his face in his hands. He took an arm around his father’s shoulders and started to comfort him. Bobby didn’t even notice his own son sit beside him. My jaw started to shake, holding in another river of tears. Niall looked up at me and reached his hand out to me, making me imitate his movements. My feet started to move forward towards him, but his hand sank when I stood in front of the microphone. I looked down on the microphone, then back at him. He smiled and nodded up to me, giving me a thumb up.

Again, I found myself standing in front of millions of eyes. I swallowed hard and focused on keeping my tears back. My eyes closed to make it easier to focus.

“T-There’s one person I’d like to thank. If it wasn’t for him, I wouldn’t be standing here. He taught me three years of homework only in a few months. We had a past together; a present together and we planned a future together as well. Sadly, not every plan nor promise can be kept.” My lungs craved a pause, “Thank you,” I ended.

I looked back to the seat where my lover was sitting. He was smiling proudly. His palm moved up to his lips where he kissed it and sent a blow kiss, then he raised his hand and waved slowly. His figure started to fade away.

“No, no, no,” I whispered to myself, getting ready to run of the stage to stop him from leaving. I closed my eyes one single time to stop the tears, but as I opened them again, he was gone, forever.