The Repents

Chapter 19: Family Weekend

"Why must the woman cook while you men sit about and wait for the food?" Grandma asked with her hands on her hips. All our family was over at grandma's for our grandparents fiftieth anniversary. After half a century she had become fed up of cooking for the family. No one could, or dared, to argue against that. So we went online to search up for the adds and called the caterers with the most impressive company name. A strangely overweighted man with a grossly, ugly moustache and his fat wife, with an artificial, professional smile pasted on her face, turned up at the Delecorè Residence. They were poorly employed to cater for the event. All the blood relatives were invited.
Even the onset signs were bad. We waited and waited for the caterers they were supposed to set everything up by 7:00pm but they arrived at 7:30pm with their huge, artificial smiles by the way of apologies. Dad wanted to give the boss a tight lesson but mama restrained him with her sharp frown, they got away. The caterers got buzy and the food was laid out in less than fifteen minutes.
As soon as it was announced the opening of dinner, everyone attacked the food hungrily. With three generations of hungry people moving with lightening speed to pile their plates, the food almost disappeared, by the time, the more patient people. Like me, got there.
All that was left was the vegetables and the rice and the huge, apologetic fake smiles of the caterers. A couple of my cousins and I grinned are bore the food so that our grumbling tummies would relax. The caterers then promptly packed, apologies for the late arrival and less quantity of food for the hundredth time and left. Then the fun started!
The first victim was Larry, my eldest cousin, the man I hated. I was always being compared unfortunately with him. I saw him dashing upstairs with a look of terror in his eyes. I stared up the stairs with curiosity, only until another cousin dashed upstairs. Then the dashing and screaming began in earnest. Wild uproars began as children and adults ran screaming to the six toilets in the house. Of course, six toilets were not enough to handle the tragedy. The only ones who were spared were the ones who ate vegetables and rice. Apparently, the culprits were the meat dishes. We fought back laughter that rose in our throats and pretended to be concerned.
The house began to sink people threw cautions to the winds and went anywhere and everywhere they could; even in the garden, under the convenient darkness. If it had not been so tragic, it would have been funny. It was an hour before the situation came under some form of control. What was worse was what happened after; it took four hours to clean up the place, people and things.
Till today nobody makes any mention of the terrible events that took place on that fateful night at that fateful dinner. Grandma, never again complained to cook for anyone.