The Repents

Chapter 9: The Mistake

"Excuse Me...." A young, handsome looking gentlemen pulled my arms out of his neck. To my despair it wasn't him but someone else utterly dashing. Alex standing right behind me.
"I'm extremely sorry, sir." She said
"Chad Randolph.... It's alright." He said in a gentle yet disturbed voice.
I looked at him with my croaky eyes. I've made mistakes, a lot of them... Always thought of what others might think of me. Kept changing myself for people, kept lies be the truth of me only to sound more awesome and cool.
Thoughts clouded my mind and I was too flushed up to respond so I just rudely walked away. This was another mistake....

Life has pains, it has giggles too... When you're all down and weepy who knows what the next moment brings... Maybe just caused a tragedy away or maybe you're soon to experience showers of happiness over you. So, never lose hope.
Fairytales might not exist in real life.... I thought of myself as an underdog, hiding from the mistakes I made.... Being right one for someone was totally the opposite for the other. I got tired. And becoming someone else made me forget who I really was. Life isn't about proper dressing, body, looks or anything physical.... Its something you feel.
Love has been something that almost killed me yet it has been something that gave me life again... It changed me into someone hideous yet it made me pure as an angel. Its something I never wanna feel again yet its something I wanna feel more and more each day.
Hope is something that makes you steady and helps you going...hope, that one day things would be perfect... Wedding,kids, growing old with the person you love more than anything.
I still remember our first kiss. It was when we were sitting on one of the high branches of an oak tree. His face was brought up almost to a level even with mine. I had never been this close to him even though we spent nights together chitchatting and stuff. Never before close enough to see that his eyes were deep brown. Never before to smell his cologne which smelled fresh and warm.
He stepped to the ground. Then reaching up, he grasped me around my waist, "Put your hands on my shoulders and lean forward. I'll get you down."
Blindly, I obeyed. Squeezing my waist slightly, he lifted me from the branch. I landed against him and threw him slightly off balance. His arms wrapped around me.
Our lips interwind out of nowhere. A lock of his long, unruly hair brushed across my smooth brow as he dipped his head lower and pressed his open mouth upon mine.
His chest solid as wall. All of him was. Slowly, he lowered me until my feet touched the ground into the cool grass.
A tidal wave of heat surged through me.
"Oh... I'm...uh.i dunno what happened." His hands dropped from my waist. I took a step back, putting space between us. The situation had got all strange and both of us didn't know what to say so we just called it a night and went back home.
Vulnerable isn't it.
This day on I fell deep, deep and deeper into him. This day I realised that love opens your chest and goes up your heart and this means that someone can get inside you and mess you up. You built up these defences, you built up a whole suit of armour, so that nothing hurts you. Then one stupid person, wanders into your life. You give them a piece of you....they didn't ask for it.... They do something dumb one day ; like kiss you or smile at you or make you laugh so hard and that very moment on your life isn't yours anymore.
Love takes hostages. It gets inside you. It eats you up and leaves you empty, crying or alone in the dark.
Sometimes, they break you into pieces... It stings like walking barefoot on broken crystals of glass.... It hurts. Its painful; not just in the imagination, not just in the mind. It's a soul hurt, a real get-inside-you-and-rip-you-apart type of pain. So yes true love hurts.
Feelings sucks.
One day its the best feeling in the world that makes you sing and dance, the other day it makes you wanna drown and die.
Love is wanting to do things with that person you couldn't imagine doing with anybody else. Love is those midnight talks and those croaky phone calls in the morning after staying up too late talking the night before. Love is kissing their nose and watching their face light up as a grin slowly creeps along their face.
Love isn't really sexual attraction, love isn't wanting to be touched sexually. Love is wanting to be close; emotionally and physically!
Love is longing to be in the same bed; touching sweetly, aimlessly and innocently. Love is a simple feeling. I guess too greatly feared and understood!

"You cross my mind more than you know,
My thoughts drift away and in that instant
It's almost like I can feel your embrace,
It's like I close my eyes,
And Imagine,
How your lips taste.
I feel you pressed against me.
I feel you consuming all of me.
You take over my existence.
And we're one with friction between our skin grasping for air,
I inhale you,
I breathe for you!
I Love you a lot."