Hate, Depression and Nathan Sykes.

Chapter 33

LUCY'S P.O.V

*6 months later*

"LUCY?" Lydia called from the living room.

"Yeah?"

"Be a babe and get me a drink please?"

"Sure" I giggled at her.

Lydia's now almost 8 months pregnant and she's so fat. That sounded so bad but her bump is massive.

I made her a glass of orange juice and put in two ice cubes because I'm nice. On the way out of the kitchen i heard Nathan in the down stairs bathroom.

"Don't stay that."

What the hell? Is he on the phone?

"No. I want to. I really want to."

There was a little pause.

"Nothing. I just want to do it at the right time. I can't wait. It means a lot to me."

Who was he speaking to?

"Ok. Deal. I'll see you later"

I heard him rummaging around before he unlocked the door.

I quickly ran away from the door so it looked like I wasn't listening and walked into the room with Lydia's drink.

"Thanks"

"I'll be back now" I told her. I ran upstairs and sat down on my bed. All that went through my mind was what was Nathan on about on the phone and who too.

What if he's seeing someone behind my back?

What I'd he's finally realised that I'm a fuck up?

Not worth anyone's love.

Stupid

Ugly

..Worthless.

My mind took over me. I couldn't control it. I was drowning. In my own mind and I couldn't escape.

I thought I was getting better. What's wrong with me?

I got up and headed towards the bathroom. I looked for my blades and sat on the floor against the wall. I made sure the door was locked and lifted my sleeve up.

He doesn't love you.

He's only with you because he feels sorry for you.

He thinks you're worthless.

I put the blade against my already scared arm and dragged it across my skin. White cuts filling with blood before my own eyes. It was so hypnotising. Again, and again. Blood everywhere. For a few seconds, I felt alive.

I put my head against the wall. What's happened to me? I never used to be this bad. I really think I need to go to the doctors. See what's going on.

I got myself cleaned up. The worst part was the cleaning up afterwards. I put some tissue around my arm and pulled my sleeve down.

I went down stairs and looked around for Jay.

"Where's jay?" I called out.

"Upstairs I think." Lydia told me.

I ran into Jays room and sat on his bed. I heard him in the bathroom so I decided to wait.

Once he finally came out he seen me sitting on the bed and jumped.

"Jesus.. Lucy. Trying to give me a heart attack?" He giggled.

"Hahahah! Sorry."

"You ok?" He asked me looking concerned sitting in front of me on the bed.

"I actually came to ask you a favour?"

"Yeah?"

"I want you to come to the doctors with me?"

"What's wrong? Are you ill?"

"I want to take a depression test."

"Um, ok. Why didn't you ask nath to go with you?"

I took a deep breath. "He's been really secretive and distracted lately. I don't know why. I want you to come. Is that ok?"

"Of course"

I smiled at him and he smiled back.

NATHAN'S P.O.V

My phone rung in my pocket.

"Hello?"

-"hi. You ready?" They asked.

"Uh. Yeah"

-"I'll pick you up around the corner"

"Ok"

I put the phone back in my pocket and grabbed my keys of the side. I looked around to make sure no one was watching me. I ran out if the door quickly and walked half way down the drive.

I took a quick look back at the house and saw someone standing in the landing window watching me but I couldn't work out who it was. I tried to but they walked away.

I walked down the drive and down the street.

I waited at the corner of the street and Waited again a bus stop.

Finally a car pulled up.

I got in and sat down in the warm car.

I looked towards the driving seat and sat there was a slim girl, brown Curley hair and bright eyes thats sparkled in the star light.

"You sure you want to do this?" She asked.

I smiled at her. "Of course I want to."