Hate, Depression and Nathan Sykes.

Chapter 49

JAYS P.O.V

I watched Nathan run out of the house and into my car through the blurry window of the door. I slowly turned back to the living room where Lydia and Ariana were staring. I looked back down at my phone that Nathan had passed back before he left and took a slow walk over to the two confused girls staring back at me. I sat down on the end of the sofa and placed my phone on the coffee table in front of me.

I debated telling them, before sighing.
"I think Lucy is going to kill herself." I admitted.

"What?" Lydia questioned. "You're lying." She whispered.

I shook my head as I broke. I put my face into my hands. I thought of all the possibilities of what Lucy might be doing, what she might be thinking.

"Why don't you let me take Tyler upstairs?" Ariana offered Lydia.

"Fuck off! Don't want you anywhere near my baby" Lydia snapped.

"Look. I'm sorry for what I did. but it's not the time for arguments. Let me take him upstairs. Look at him. Comfort him." I heard Ariana say back.

"Fine." Lydia sighed. I felt my eyes getting wet while I felt a pair of skinny arms wrapped around me with a few sniffles. I sat up slowly as I pulled Lydia into my chest as She wrapped her arms around my waist. I leant back against the back of the sofa and relaxed my head down against Lydia's. I felt her crying against my chest.

Why would Lucy want to do this? She is such an amazing person. My best friend? There must had been some dark things in her mind.

My head started spinning against my thoughts.

**

"Guys!" A fragile voice called. I decided to ignore it when the female voice called again. "Guys! Wake up!" I opened my eyes slightly to see Ariana in front of us with Tyler in her arms.

"What?" I questioned.

"Nathan's been calling you. But you wouldn't answer. So he called me." I shot up, forgetting Lydia was laying on me. She rolled off my lap and onto the floor.

"Ow.." She whispered. I quickly helped her up back onto the sofa and apologised.

"And?.." I questioned Ariana.

"He's found Lucy.." Her expression lowered, as she looked down. "Jay.. It's not good." My heart shattered. What had happened? I couldn't bring myself to ask. I brushed my hand through my hair and held the tears back.

"What happened?" Lydia asked, the nicest I've ever seen her be with Ariana.

"I don't think that's my place to explain. But they're at the hospital. And Lydia. It's not good. You two go. I'll take care of Tyler" she offered softly.

"No." Lydia snapped. My anger built.

"Lydia. Just give him to her. she's not going to run a fucking way. In case you hadn't noticed, my best friend, your cousin has tried killing herself so stop being fucking pathetic and come on." I snapped without realsing. She looked hurt. She looked away from me and kissed Tyler on his forehead before passing him to Ariana. Lydia turned around to me and barged past me to the front door.

"Here!" Ariana called, she threw me her keys while smiling. I smiled gratefully towards her and ran towards the front door. I ran down to Ariana's silver car and jumped in at the same time as Lydia.

On the way to the hospital, me and Lydia never spoke once. I didn't even feel guilty for what I did.

We pulled up outside the hospital and ran in. We ran up to the receptionist. "Lucy pond?"

"Give me a second!" She looked down at the sheet of paper clipped to a clipboard and looked back up. "Room 307"

"Thanks!" I said, as I was already running down the hall. I turned down the hall and saw Nathan. He was sat on the floor with his knees up to chest, his arms cuddling his legs with his head leaning against the wall. I ran down the hall and stood in front of him. Leaning down in front of him. He didn't look at me, he was facing down the hall towards the window. His cheek were tear stained and he looked drained.

NATHAN'S P.O.V

I refused to looked at Jay, if I did I'd break. I tried to get the memory of what I saw out of my head but it was almost inpossible, the same quiet sentence placed in my mind of what she said to me before.. Before she jumped repeating in my head.

"I'm Sorry."

Watching her body hitting the water, watching her body not rising from under the water, watching her body slowly starting to float to the top, watching her body float along the water, watching her body not waking up.

I squeezed my eyes shut to try and get the image out of my head. But it was useless. What if I lost her?

What If I lost the girl I loved?

What If Lost the girl I fell in love with?

What if? Just what if?

I couldn't loose her. I hadn't completely expressed myself to her, but she told me everything about her.

Was this my fault?

I slowly looked towards Jay who's cheeks were also tear stained.

"Nathan? What happened?" He whispered. I shook my head at the memory in my head.

"She jumped" I whispered. Now feeling numb. "She was floating, face down" I paused and took a breath. "Not moving." I told him, I felt my voice brake. "Jay.." I whispered, hoping for comfort.

"I'm here mate." He told me as his arm wrapped over my shoulder. I let go. I cried into my knees, with my hands locked with each other flopping over my legs as my elbows rested on my knees.

"She'll be ok!" He whispered in my ear.

"Yeah? And what if she's not?" I snapped. "What if she dies in there? Because she's closer to dying than her chances of staying alive. What will I do then Jay? Say?"

He looked down and stayed quiet. "Exactly." I whispered.

I couldn't loose her. I couldn't.