Skii's Junk: Rants

Steps of Studying

Steps of Studying

1. The Motivation

Whenever I need to study for something, at first, I'm pumped. I tell myself this'll be a breeze and I'll ace the test and I'll be so scholarly... but when the breeze turns into a hurricane, this motivation quickly leaves, leading me to step 2...

2. The Procrastination

I am a procrastinator. If getting distracted was a sport, I'd be on a Wheaties box. I suppose you could say I'm a pro (crastinator). In this stage Youtube is my biggest enemy and friend at the same time.

3. The Guilt

All through step 2 you are probably pushing back this nagging guilt. In step three this feeling resurfaces, leaving you on the edge of panic. If you are good student, then you'll probably get your rear and gear and actually study but if you're anything like me, you will proceed to step 4...

4. The Rationalization

This step is how you get reality to go away when it knocks on your door...

You will rationalize with yourself that you have plenty of time to get your book work done! One of the signs your a rationalizer is you use phrases similar to these:

Just one more episode of Andy Griffith and you'll study...

Just another game of free cell...

It's not procrastination if your drinking coffee... it's procaffinating.

Well, another sentence read! I should reward myself with another study break and another box of pop tarts!

I wonder if iisuperwomanii came out with a new video....

They say if you say something enough, it'll go away but what about if you ignore it?

Then comes along inevitable step 5...

5. The Realization/Panic

When reality goes from knocking on your door to repeatedly ringing your doorbell, to breaking the door down like some sort of Ninja Chuck Norris. But reality always seem to do this at the last second when you are an hour away from taking that test and you realize you are not toast, but charcoal that is covered in gasoline and gun powder that is on fire as it's being thrown into an active valcano that is about to errupt! This is when you hit full on panic mode... and when you're greatest ideas and inspiration comes, leading you to step 6...

6. The Scramble

No, I'm not talking about eggs. This step is also known as the cram. This step is usually about one morning as far time. This is where you cram so many factoids down your brain's throat (I don't even know how that works), that it practically shrieks in protest. In this step you burn like 12397 brain cells which is really sad considering you could of killed those cells doing something a lot more enjoyable, like watching full house or smelling gasoline.

Then you usaully end up taking the test, get a passable grade, and then come home, realizing, that the only thing you learned is... oh wait! You didn't learn anything because all these steps are repeated the next time you have to study for a test! Live and don't learn, that's humanity for you!