Skii's Junk: Rants

Habits I will NEVER Improve: Chewing Gum

Well it seems New Years is almost upon us and a long with it, resolutions. I've tried to make resolutions but somewhere between July and August I fall short of whatever goal I've made, and that's only when I've worked my butt off. Some resolutions last for exactly two days, or, even worse, just a few hours. But there are some habits that I have kind of just canned mentally in my brain as eternal annoyances I shall forever struggle with.

#1: Chewing gum

I love gum so much. I love the chewy feeling and the way it tastes but, just a word to the wise, if I am at some event or place where I need to be quiet- STOP! Do NOT give me gum. I have neither the willpower to decline nor the maturity to not blow giant bubbles the size of a house and loudly pop them. It's something I cannot help. If I have gum I will chew it ever to aggressively, creating I really nasty smack, smack, SMACK*!

*That last smack was the sound of my mother slapping me in the head.

This sound would totally disgust me if it were someone ELSE but when it's myself, I am totally oblivious. And the bubbles... I just can't help blowing them. It doesn't matter if you gave me bubble gum, chewing gum, or gum straight from the tree, I'm going to manage to blow bubbles with it. I don't know how I do it. I'm not even thinking about it. I'm sitting there minding my own business when BOOM! A miniature pink explosion occurs right in my face. Or, even worse, I fail to blow the bubbles and the gum comes shooting from my mouth onto the back of the head of the person sitting in front of me.... yeah, that happened... at church...

That being said, do not give me gum, especially not at church, the library, school, a funeral.... basically any place where the annoying smacking sound of gum and the popping of bubbles is not acceptable. I'm sure everyone there will thank you.