I Do... Not Want Your Body (Editing)

Chapter 9

I don't wish to be everything to everyone, but I would like to be something to someone.

***

I'm not calling you a liar, just don't lie to me

And I love you so much, I'm gonna let you

I'm not calling you a thief, just don't

And I love you so much, I'm gonna let you

I'm not calling you a ghost, just stop

There's a ghost in my mouth and it talks in my sleep

Wraps itself around my tongue as it softly speaks

Then it walks, then it walks, then it walks with my legs

To fall, to fall, to fall, to fall, to fall, to fall

To fall, to fall, to fall, to fall

To fall, to fall at your feet

Chapter 9

This was bad, this was really, really bad.

I've never seen my parents this mad, it's like once they've watched the footage from the security tapes they remembered how much of an effect alcohol can have on a teenage girl. I watched as I threw myself all over Axel for entire night, Clay watching my actions with his eyes trained on Axel as if he'd break him in two if he approached the situation in the wrong way.

God, if anyone just wanted to take advantage of me in my drunken state, I'd happily comply as I've come to realize. Thatcher had provided them with the footage once my father had forcefully asked for it. No one could ever refuse his authority when he's approached them in such a way, and Thatcher was no exception. Although I hoped he would be.

Just watching myself play truth or dare, watching myself kiss Axel and then proceed to get my hair dyed, a fake belly button piercing, get my legs nicked a thousand times by sharp razors while my nails sloppily got painted a cloudy black.

My father's face was completely blank the entire time while watching the footage, a clear sign that he wasn't in the happiest of moods.

Once it was all over, an awkward air settled over us all and then Dad reached for the cherry vodka sitting on the nightstand in their room, chugging down half the bottle.

"Ah, I needed that."

I groaned and put my head in my hands, another bad sign. If he needed alcohol to sate the pain he was in after enduring that horrible film then I was really in trouble.

My mom turned to me, her eyes wary as she wondered how to approach this, "Elspeth that was..."

"Interesting? Horrible? Frightening-"

"Shameful! How could you do such a thing, do you know how this makes us look as parents?" My father yelled.

I sighed, of course, somehow they made it all about them. This was about me and my mortifying teenage ways, not about upholding the family name that I had tarnished while here. But I was sure our family name was ripped to shreds when my father had drunkenly slapped my mother on the butt repeatedly in front of our entire family as if it was running out of style. Of course they would never remember any of that.

They were such hypocrites.

"Yes, I know how it makes you look as parents, but maybe you should be doing a better job then, obviously there's a problem." I said waving my hands towards the television.