I Do... Not Want Your Body (Editing)

Chapter 19

Where there is great love, there are always great wishes.

***

I wish I could do better by you, 

'cause that's what you deserve

You sacrifice so much of your life

In order for this to work.

While I'm off chasing my own dreams

Sailing around the world

Please know that I'm yours to keep

My beautiful girl

When you cry a piece of my heart dies

Knowing that I may have been the cause

If you were to leave

Chapter 19

--Elspeth (2 weeks later) --

I slammed the door behind me as I walked into Riki's room, my best friends laying on her bed with a pair of headphones dangling from her ears while steam poured from mine.

At first she didn't take notice of me and I could even hear the music pounding from those small ear buds. Within my frustration I walked over to her and yanked them from her ears and she jumped while holding a hand to her heart in surprise. 

"Elle? When did you get here and why didn't you call before you came I would've cleaned up a bit." Riki explained as I looked around at the tidiness.

I grimaced and groaned before I fell back onto her bed my small hands covering my eyes as if I was in agony while silence fell over us both. I knew that Riki was itching to ask me what was wrong but I couldn't bring myself to answer any of her questions or give her the chance to ask them.

"Elle? Hey, uncover your eyes. I hate seeing you like this. Are you still mad over Clay?" she asked me.

I shrugged.

She sighed but already knew it was the truth. "Look, you don't have to talk with me about it but I don't want you holding all of this in, at least focus all this negative energy on something else."

I took in a couple of deep breaths, chanting to myself as I continued to calm my beating heart.

In and out, in and out, in and then.... out.

I uncovered my eyes and then looked over at my best friend, she was still staring down at me with a look of pity distorting the once happy smile that was always placed upon her lips. Great, I didn't want my sour mood to wash off on her, it would be best if I just told her everything that happened just to get it off of my chest.

"Riki?" I asked.

"Yeah." She answered.

"I think I was sort of in love with Clay. I mean we had the most amazing date, we went to that new cheesecake shop and he made me guess all of their flavors blind-folded- that was so sweet. And then we rented a couple of mountain bikes and road through the park and through a couple of trails. I mean it wasn't much but it was different yet simple and it made me feel special. Yet after that he never talked to me again, never called, texted, emailed, or even sent a letter! I mean did something happen to me between the wedding and now? Or better yet did something happen to him?" I asked Riki.

Her eyes were wide with my explanation as she shook her head 'no.'

"That's exactly what I thought." I sighed and then pressed my head further into Riki's downy red comforter while running my hands over my face in my stress.