Unchained Love

Kabanata 10

Spot

"You missed how I call you names but did you ever miss me? Don't worry if not then yeah my assumption is right." I chuckled with that thought and drink another shot.

"Enough Celestine. It's your third glass, you have classes tomorrow."

"Stop there." I looked away and I focused my attention to the wine collection of his dad. "I don't have any plans on attending my class tomorrow. I want to skip."

"You're aware that-"

"That what? Na may low alcohol tolerance ako? Matagal ko ng alam Gust"

"Fine, drink many as you can. Drown yourself Celestine but alcohol will do no good, hangover is a bitch." He told coldly I saw how his lip form in to a straight line.

"Being drunk is a good way to start a conversation, so can we start?"

"Okay. Who will start this closure, me?"

"No not you idiork, I'll ask questions, all okay? then you will answer them honestly."

I breathed heavily I felt how Jack Daniels entered my system. Fuck!

"So bakit ang ganda ko?" I saw how his expression changed, "Hey Im just kidding."

"Really?" I sensed the sarcasm in the tone of his voice. He's too uptight, Im not used to it.

"Ganito if I got hurt in your answers iinom ka ng isang glass nito para naman fair kahit paano. Deal?" Itinaas ko ang bote ng Jack Daniels at pilit siyang pinagtataasan ng kilay.

Mukhang malalasing siya ngayong gabi. Tumango na lang siya bilang sagot.
Namayani ang nakakabinging katahimikan sa pagitan naming dalawa tila ba parehas kaming naghihintayan. Hindi ko alam kung saan ko sisimulan, sa dami ng tanong nauubusan ako ng masasabi.

Lumipas siguro ang tatlong minuto na parehas kaming nakatuon ang pansin sa mga alak sa harapan.

Tumikhim ako at binasag ang katahimikan, hinawakan ko ang alak at nilagyan ang baso ko.

"Bakit dumating tayo sa ganitong tagpo? I never imagined I will have this kind of conversation with you."

"I don't know. One day I woke up and it feels that everything has changed. Maybe for you I'm being irrational but believe me I'm not, suddenly my feelings for you has changed. It seems that you're not the reason anymore in every morning that I need to wake up, you're not the goal I want to achieve and an end game I want to finish and come home wearing a smile because I won. Celestine you're not the reason behind everything that matters in my life. Change is constant and not me nor you neither of us. You know that."

I felt numb on everything he said, realization hit me it was really possible to fall out of love after years of relationship. I thought it was happened only in books and movies but I guess I was wrong because now I proved that my life was way similar to fictions I have read and watched.

"Oh. Gust I think I need to change the rule, if I got hurt I take the thing you supposed to do. No buts, so poured that glass."

He being obedient as always, he poured it and I took it right away.

"Whoah. You will babysit a drunkard later." I chuckled and think for another question. "So here is the next question, hey look at me babe." He grinned and looked at me intently saying go on Celestine.

"Did I hurt you when I broke up with you?"

Matagal siya bago nakasagot, kita ko ang pagkunot ng kanyang noo at pagdilim ng ekapresyon.

"No. Hindi ako nasaktan."

"W-what? Ba-bakit ... Paano?"

"I was guilty that time pero wala akong naramdaman na sakit."

"I'm closed to death when I learned that you were cheating on me for months. But hearing this straight from you that ... that you're not ... not hurt with the break up we had was the most hurtful pain I ever felt."

"If I asked you before to choose between Lady and I, who would it be?"

He cleared his throat and breathed heavily before answering my question.

"Lady. I felt something in her that you can't made me feel. Everytime that I'm looking at her I see the future ahead us. I see her happily sharing our lovestory to every generation of the family."

"Masakit pala na madinig galing sa mismo sa taong mahal mo na hindi ka niya magawang piliin."

"The happiness I felt whenever I'm with her is far different when we are together. She can make every second of my life magical and wonderful."

"If I beg you to come back ... back to my life will you consider it?

"I won't. Hindi ko na gustong bumalik sayo, nagsawa ko sa relasyon na hindi ako ang sobrang nagmamahal. Akala ko noon masarap ang ganoong set up, pero habang nagtatagal nakakaumay pala. Mawawalan ka na lang ng gana."

"Kung sabihin ko na ako na lang ulit? Pwede pa ba? Pwede pa ba na bumalik ka?"

"Mas masasaktan ka lang kung babalik ako sayo at susubok ulit. Anong halaga ng pagbalik ko sayo kung iba na ang mahal ko? Kung iba na ang gusto kong makasama."

Tumingala ako at pinigilan ang mga luhang nagbabadya. Pinilit kong ngumiti sa kabila ng masasakit na pagguhit ng kanyang nga salita.

Hindi ko alam kung nailan na akong baso ng alak pakiramdam ko hindi ako nalalasing, tila ba pampa-gising sa sistema ko ang mga mapanakit niyang mga salita.