The bullshit game that is life

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The Bullshit Game That is Life
(Short and unedited, sorry)

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The room Farkle and I had met in that afternoon was warm compared to the rest of the school. It was also far more colorful, having been an art room at one point. However, the most ironic thing was that the desk I decided to sit at that day. Carved into the wood was a flower, and under the flower, written in permanent ink, was, "Open your eyes and see the beauty of the world."

If only the person who had written that knew that the only way to see the world as beautiful was to keep your eyes shut and let your imagination take over. Because the day I opened my eyes, all I saw was horror.

Thinking about this, I wanted to get up and leave before Farkle arrived. I couldn't sit here for twenty minutes and talk about how horrible the world was now that my eyes were open. But just as I was about to rise from my seat, he walked in, and say down in a desk near me.

"I know you're not happy about this situation at all," he said after about a minute of silence, "but I'm really glad you found her that night. I really am Lucas. God knows what would have happened if you didn't. I cried when she called me you know. When she said she was okay. I mean, of corse she wasn't okay, but knowing that she was safe with you was the best thing I've heard in a while."

I was quiet. "It's just, when I saw her, I was terrified. I know it was good I saw her, but I don't know. It was just horrible. She was scared of me. She was crying and pushing me away and I was terrified." I said. "And I shouldn't have been. I shouldn't have even found her because it shouldn't have happened in the first place. And I can't help but feel like it's my fault because I've known something was wrong since New Years, and I thought that if I left it alone and didn't think into it, then it would go away. If I just opened my eyes I would have found out earlier and it wouldn't have gone this far."

"Lucas, you can't say that. You know now, and you're there for her and that's everything."

"But I don't know. It's not everything because I don't even-" I sighed and put my head in my hands. "Farkle, I know you are trying to protect me but I don't need protecting. You need to tell me who is doing this because is I can't live my life knowing that this person is still out there that she still going to get hurt. That everything just gonna be worse and it will be my fault because I won't be able to do anything."

He sighed. "Lucas, I assure you, she's safe-"

"But how can I know that! She-"

"Lucas!" He snapped. "Why would I ever let her near someone who hurt her? Huh? Why? I love Maya, and I know you do too and you just have to trust us."

At this point, I shouldn't have been angry, but I was.
"How Farkle. How? How the fuck am I supposed to trust you with her safety huh? Because as I remember you said you had this under control before I knew and did you?" I knew the words coming out of my mouth were venomous but I couldn't stop. I was too worked up.

"Lucas-"

"No Farkle. You don't know anything. You play genius but you're wrong. I believed you when you told me she was safe, and I was a fucking idiot for doing so. She was a disaster Farkle. There was blood pouring out of her head and her ribs were bruised and still are mind you. She was traumatized, damnit I'm traumatized."
My eyes were watering at just the thought of that night, and I was choking on my own breath.
"Is tha- is that your idea of 'safe'?" I stuttered.

Farkle looked up and I saw a tear run down his face.
"I tried," he started. "I tried so- so fucking hard to ke- keep her safe. I practically forced h- her to stay at my house for a week until she told me- told me that she was completely out. I believed her Lucas, she was s- so happy. She was spending the night with Riley. She was normal again, you know. I was so relieved, and I had no idea that she was lying. I thought she wa- was sa- safe. I thought I had kept her safe. If I knew that letting her go made the situation worse, I would have never done it. I m- made a huge mistake but you have to t- trust me."

I could tell my face was red, as I watched Farkle shamelessly cry in front of me.

"Farkle. I'm sorry, okay it wasn't your fault at all I was just mad, okay? But you need to tell me-"

"Lucas you know why I can't tell you who did this. Maya and I discussed this, even before you found out, that you can't know. It's better for everyone okay?"

"I just don't think that's fair-" I started.

"Hey," a third voice interrupted. I looked over Farkle to see a teacher in his forties standing in the doorway, looking at us. "You guys can't be in here. You need passes to leave the cafeteria and this classroom isn't supposed to be used during school hours."

"Yes sir," Farkle said, wiping his face, gathering his stuff, and standing up.

"If there was a fire drill or a lockdown, we would all be in major trouble, understand?" He continued.

"Sorry sir, we didn't know I promise. I used to eat here a lot last year so I didn't realize there was a g." Farkle said.

"Yes well our policies have changed since last year. Now I could give you two a detention but I'll let it slide, okay?"

"Yes sir," we both finished.

As we walked down the corridors back to the cafeteria, I said out loud, "bullshit how we nearly get punished for eating lunch in a quiet classroom while people get away with shit like this."

And with that, I threw the rest of my lunch away, and started walking to my last class, thinking about rather or not I could really trust Farkle.

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