I'm Okay ~ Shoey

Chapter 4

Chapter 4

~Joey's POV~

For the first time in weeks I was able to sit up comfortably and breathe. Albeit, there were tubes up my nose and various meds being pumped into my system, but still. I was sat up and breathing.

I finally had a shirt on too. The hospital gown was soft against my skin. It had become dry and gross since my isolation, and that wasn't the only thing I'd ruined. After being given a bath to get rid of the dry blood, I'd really noticed just how thin I was. My ribs were extremely visible, as was the rest of my skeletal form. I'm killing myself unknowingly.

Moving is a difficult task. It can take an hour just to tilt my head. I'm exhausted, but I'm not sure how, or why. I don't do anything strenuous? At least not anymore. I'm lazy. Perhaps that my problem. I need to get back to my old ways? Maybe then I'll be okay?

I know I'm going to die. I can just feel it. I'm not afraid to go, really. I'll be at peace when my time is up. At least I'm in a hospital now. But I would have preferred to die in my own home. Where no one can see me.

Just then, the blue door to my hospital room flung open with a creak. An out of breath Shane stands there, wide eyes and tired looking. The moment my eyes lay on him, I start to feel better. And an eruption of butterflies explodes inside me.

"Oh my god, Joey" he breathes, rushing over to me, and wrapping his arms tightly around my shoulders. I rest my head on his chest, inhaling his scent. I hope he sticks around a lot longer. "How're you feeling? Did they give you an answer yet? Have they done tests?"

"Some tests" I breathed out, speaking still left me a little out of breath, but I'm getting better. "No answer. Thanks for staying"

"I won't leave you here. I promise I'll always stay" he said, pulling away from me slightly and coming eye level to me.

We stared into each other's eyes for what felt like an eternity. I could have stared all day getting lost in those beautiful pools of blue. I got out of breath again, randomly. This was happening too often. I'm already aware death is in the room, ready to take my life. I closed my eyes and let me head hand hang in exhaustion. Shane's forehead was resting against my own and I was thankful for it. Maybe it'll be nice to have someone with me in my final moments?

Seconds later the doctor walks into the room, clipboard in hand. "Hello Joey, feeling any better?" He smiled.

I was still out of breath, and still leaning against Shane. Only now, my hand was in his. Once the doctor realised what was happening, he approached us. He fiddled with some tubes and my oxygen tank, and suddenly my lungs were filled with refreshing oxygen.

Shane cupped my head in his soft hands, pulling myself from his forehead and resting me down against my pillow. I was thankful for it, but felt guilty he had to see me like this. Close to death is far from attractive.

"We've sent your blood samples down to the lab, and we'll give you results when we get them. I want to check your eyes real quick, okay Joey?" The doctor said, looking at me. I nod, painful. Hoping it doesn't involve movement.

"Do you know what it is yet?" Shane asks, stepping away from my bed a little, giving the doctor some space.

"Anaemia. But it could be a virus. Won't know definitely until we get bloods back" he says so casually. He pulls his flash light from his coat pocket and uses his index finger to pull my bottom eye lid down a little. "Look up" he asks, to which I do. It hurts having the light in my eye so bad. "And down" again, I do as asked. He then turns his flashlight off and steps back a little, jotting it down on his clipboard.

Shane approached me once more, taking my hand in his and softly kissing my cold and numb fingers.

"You seem a happy couple" my doctor said, smiling at us. Both Shane and I wore the same expression. Confusion. "Not often you see that connection between people anymore"

"No, we're not a couple." Shane awkwardly laughed. Damn I wish we were.

"Sorry, I didn't mean to pry" he said quickly, a bit of panic in his face. "Anyway, the whites of your eyes a little yellow. I'm gonna book you for an MRI, just to be clear if anything else. So far, all signs are easing toward anaemia."

"What's that?" I got out, although it was quiet.

"Anaemia is when your blood count is too low, making your body weak because your little amount of blood is trying to keep your main organs going. Easy to fix, just a quick blood transfusion and you're good to go" he smile, before excusing himself to leave. I sighed heavily, using all my strength to squeeze Shane's hand that was still holding mine.

"You okay?" He asked.

"I'm scared"