I'm Okay ~ Shoey

Chapter 14

Chapter 14

~Shane's POV~

As 3am rolled around, I was still laid in bed wide awake. I wasn't even sure why. I hadn't done anything differently throughout the day, and I knew I was tired. But for some reason i couldn't drop off to sleep. It was as if my conscious was like "Fuck no nigga, you gotta stay awake tonight!" 

Sawyer had left for work a few hours ago, leaving me and Joey alone together. It had been so awkward in the last few days. Basically ever since we almost fucked. But i made a vow to myself that i would marry Joey. And it's been so hard trying to figure out how to do that. I'd already called Nicole and got her blessing for me to propose, and i called his mom like, 45 times, and each time she was drunk. So i'm just going to take all her drunkenness as a yes, but it was just his dad. He doesn't think it's right for his sick son to be marrying a guy. He thinks Joey should just focus on getting better before making any big decisions. Its like he doesn't even realise that Joey doesn't have time for both things. He won't get better, and thats exactly why i'm going to marry him. I roll over and sigh again. Damn i wish i could fall asleep easier. i made a mental note to go visit my doctor soon as see if i can get some sleeping pills. that ought to be able to help. 

Suddenly, my heart drops for no reason. I gasp and my eyes fling open. Somethings wrong with Joey, i just know it. I sit silent and still trying to listen out for him, but i can't hear anything. he's either asleep, or something really bad is happening. Without even thinking about it, I'm out of bed and rushing downstairs. I push open his door with some force, and scream at the sight i find. 

Joey's laid in bed, his face going purple as he tries to breathe.I don't even know whats happening or why. "Joey? Joey, baby answer me" i beg, tears building in my eyes. i doesn't answer. "fuck" i cry, my voice shaking as i check for a pulse. The nurse had shown Sawyer and I how to do when Joey first got diagnosed. They taught us so we could always check on him in case we had to. Sawyer already knew what he was doing of course. I checked, and thank fucking god he still had a pulse. it was slow and barely noticeable, but it was there. I checked his oxygen. nothing was passing through. his body was getting colder and colder. 

Quickly, i picked up Joey as if i was carrying a baby. I couldn't stop crying the entire journey to the hospital. I'd laid joey out on the back seats of my car and sped as fast as i could to get there. "please don't die joey, please" i sobbed in the front seat. i knew i'd be getting speeding tickets in the mail for the next few weeks but i don't care. My joey was about to die in the backseat and i needed to save him. "I'm so sorry joey" i said, not really sure what i was apologising for. "i love you so much, joey" i sobbed loudly. 

When we got to the hospital i pulled up in a disabled parking spot and carried joey into the emergency room. he was even colder and limp in my arms. i was still whaling my cries. "help! please, help!" i yelled loudly. a few doctors came rushing over and examined him. 

He's dead. i know he is. he's dead, and i'm too late to save him. "please" i whisper, looking down and joeys dead body in my arms. of course he's none responsive for fucks sake. The doctors take him from my arms and lay him on a bed and take him away. they tell me i can't go with them just yet, that they need to do a full analysis and take him straight to surgery. 

i headed back to my car to cry privately, and i had to call Sawyer. "hey Shane, is everything okay?" Sawyer yawned down the phone. i must have woken him by mistake. crying, i yelled "Joey's dead" and i started sobbing fully again. tears stained my red cheeks, and my hair was all stuck to my forehead. "what!" he yelled back, where are you, i'm coming down right now" he said, i could hear the fear and panic lingering in his voice. "at the hospital. i'm sorry Sawyer, i just found him in his room almost gone and i wasn't fast enough" i said, sobbing my heart out even more. if thats at all possible. 

And just like that, my heart was broken. The love of my life has gone, and it's my fault. It's all my fault. If joey can't live on Earth anymore, then neither can I...