SAFE :: ZAYN

[06]

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"Hey, dad--"

"Shh," Zayn hushed Jahdai before he got too loud, "you wanna come somewhere with me?"

"Okay," because Zayn knew his son was ready for whatever. He had to be. "Where?"

"Uh, Max's house," Zayn shuffled on his jacket and checked the pockets for his lighter. Good, he had it still.

"Okay," and he knew Jahdai didn't really like Max's house because it was dank and obviously a crack house. They used to stay there but moved out because it quickly turned into something way worse.

"Be quiet, though. We can't wake Yemi up."

"Okay," Jahdai held his hand as Zayn exited the house and safely locked the doors behind him. It was cold as hell, but Zayn really needed what he was going there for. "Does he still have his doggies?"

"I think so," Zayn smiled down at him and suddenly felt a pang of guilt run through him. He shouldn't be doing this, he could have just left then come back, but oddly enough, he needed his son. "Are you okay?"

"Yeah," he jumped over the cracks in the sidewalk and laughed when he accidentally stepped on one, "aw man."

"Want me to carry you?"

"No, that's okay, daddy. Don't hurt yourself."

Zayn chuckled and his stomach sank again at how precious his son was.

"Are you going to get medicine again?" Jahdai suddenly asked and honestly, Zayn wanted to turn around right now and cry with his boy in his arms, but his addiction took over his brain so they kept walking.

It was clear what Jahdai meant, he saw Zayn using a few months ago and Zayn lied, saying it was medicine to make him feel better. He felt terrible, but didn't want Jahdai to be so...exposed to something like that. So now, he left him in the room right next to him sometimes, snorting and then going on about his day high off of cocaine.

"Y-Yeah," Zayn stuttered, turning down the street and walking, "come here."

"No--"

"Come on," Zayn picked him up and huffed, not wanting him to get snatched up or anything, "just stay safe."

"Okay," He leaned on his shoulder and clutched on, even as they walked in the dark to Max's house, which was even more dark and run down. "What--"

"Sh, shh," Zayn hushed him, opening the door of the house and seeing Max on the ground, flicking a light on and off, "hey."

"I was waiting for you, matey," Max popped up and led Zayn and Jahdai to the, "follow me."

"Jah, stay right here," Zayn set him down and Jah went to a corner closest to where Zayn was going to be.

"Hurry up," he complained, sitting down and playing with a stick.

Zayn walked quickly into the back, grabbing a razor off the dresser and looking at the small pile of white powder on the table. His nostrils flared and he sat down, dividing the pile into four lines.

"Where you been?"

"Hospital," Zayn took a straw and snorted the first two lines lightly so it coated the inside of his nose, "Juwan stole my shit and I tried to fight him off. I was itching the whole time I was in that place."

"Free food, though," Mac said and Zayn noticed he was already high off the shits, "I'm glad you're back, man. It was getting boring around here."

Zayn laughed then finished off the last two lines. The inside of his nostrils still contained cocaine but that was for when he'd sniffle and get a treat out of it. It was the best thing to him.

"I'll see you later--"

"Daddy!" Jahdai yelled from the other room and Zayn got up, rushing into the next room to see a junkie grabbing Jahdai's arm and staring at the boy. It disgusted him.

"Hey!" Zayn raised his voice and yanked the random guy off, punching him in the face until his knuckles got bloody, "get the fuck--"

"Daddy, stop!" Jahdai screamed, his tears running relentlessly down his face, "daddy!"

Zayn pulled away, his eyes dilated completely and his hand shaking. "Come on, buddy," Zayn took his hand with the hand that wasn't bloody and walked out.

"Daddy--"

"Jah, please. Are you okay?" he turned to him and crouched down. Jahdai just moved his hair away and sniffled.

"He hit me," he cried, holding his arm, "it hurts really bad--"

"Shh shh, okay," Zayn picked him up carefully, "we're gonna go back home and sleep there for the night, okay?"

"To Yemi and her puppies?" he asked, his face in Zayn's neck.

"Baby, no," he gulped and felt the cocaine rush through him, "just back to where we were for the night."

"I don't wanna go back there," he cried and somehow, it got on Zayn's nerves when it usually wouldn't, "can't we--"

"No, what did I say? We're just gonna stay for the night. Yemi's too far away right now."

"Okay," and anyone could tell Jahdai didn't want to upset Zayn anymore so he shut up, sniffling at the wind as Zayn walked further down the road, past the suburbs and past the convenience stores. An Italian restaurant came into view and Zayn smiled just a little, knowing he was close to home.

He turned down the dark alleyway and towards the back entrance of the restaurant where their hideout was. Zayn sat down and held his son tightly.

"I'm sorry for yelling, Jah," he said quietly, knowing his son was still awake and silently crying to himself. The cocaine messed with his senses and Zayn suddenly became paranoid, his stare hardened on something he swore was a person moving but actually wasn't.

"Sorry daddy."

"No, I'm sorry. I love you, Jah. I just--"

"Need to get better, I know," he sounded annoyed and Zayn was hurt, "when will you get better?"

"Soon."

And not only did Zayn know he was lying, but his own son knew the same thing.

-

sheesh